Sat, Aug 26, 2006 page8

• Johnny Neihu's NewsWatch: Life's a bitch when you're slapped

  It's come to this. A one-time DPP luminary and Shih Ming-teh supporter has roughed up a minor media mogul on a talkshow. But there's one "reporter" who won't be covering the story - he took his job description of bias too seriously.

  • By Johnny Neihu
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  Well, originally I wanted to stay away from writing about the movement to recall the president as much as possible. But then everything got crazy. I just can't ignore some of these recent events.

  First, Ting Wan-ming (丁萬鳴), who The Associated Press describes as "a veteran journalist from the pro-opposition United Daily News (UDN)," managed, with one single act, to offer indisputable proof of every criticism I have ever leveled at the Chinese-language media. Namely, that journalists and editors have no professional ethics, no detachment, are unable to -- or do not care to -- discern the difference between speculation and fact, and do not understand the very simple concept that an independent and objective media is essential to a democracy.

  During an awards ceremony that one presumes Ting had been invited to attend in his professional capacity, the "journalist" (I put sneer marks around it because he is clearly unworthy of the title) stood up and began waving a banner and screaming "Step down A-bian!" at the president. (For the uninitiated, "A-bian" is President Chen Shui-bian's (陳水扁) nickname.) It would have been equally shocking if a baseball umpire had begun cheering for one of the teams in the middle of the game.

  Obviously, security intervened. We learn from our very own Taipei Times that "Ting said he was expressing himself on behalf of `the 60 percent of the Taiwanese public' that want Chen Shui-bian to step down, because it was difficult for them to send a message to the president directly."

  Except by voting, of course. And, not to nitpick, but I had always been under the impression that the role of the media was to keep watch over the government for the public's benefit, not to intercede in political affairs on behalf of the public.

  But then, I never benefited from the fine journalistic education one obviously receives at the UDN. If they have a formal training program, it must look something like this:

  Day 1: How to Read.

  Day 2: How to Write.

  Day 3: How to Make Things Up.

  Day 4: Ten Quick and Easy Ways to Libel.

  Day 5: Objectivity -- What's the Point?

  Day 6: Bias, Activism and You -- How to Become the Story.

  And on the seventh day, no doubt, they rest, look upon their work, and think that it is good.

  I learned from an acquaintance, who shall remain nameless (because I now refuse to publicly associate with anyone from the UDN), that Ting was transferred to a "non-editorial position" -- a symbolic slap on the wrist. I'll have to check back in a few months to see if he gets promoted once the furor dies down.

  There was another little event on Thursday night that is simply too good to pass up. There is even a slight chance that careful viewers might have caught it on television -- it played several thousand times on every channel and graced the front pages of most local newspapers.

  The event, of course, was Lin Cheng-chieh (林正杰) -- a Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) has-been -- deciding to beat the shit out of Chin Heng-wei (金恆煒) -- a veteran political commentator -- on live television.

  Hmm. I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost.

  Now, I've never been a really big fan of Chin or his magazine, Contemporary Monthly. In the jargon of the industry, Chin is what we call a "media whore." Unfortunately, unlike most professional media whores, Chin does not "give good quote," to use the expression of a former colleague of mine from the Asian Wall Street Journal. But just because I don't like him doesn't mean I want to see him beaten up (although it had its moments).

  Meanwhile, Lin's professional trajectory basically sums up everything that went wrong with the DPP.

  According to the Bible, God sent his son Jesus Christ down to Earth as the embodiment of his love for man. According to Johnny, God sent Lin down to Taiwan as the embodiment of failure and bitterness.

  Lin was one of the few Mainlanders involved in the early movement to create a multiparty democracy in Taiwan, which is commonly called the dangwai. During the 1980s, Lin, Chen Shui-bian and former premier Frank Hsieh (謝長廷) were known as "The Three Musketeers" of the Taipei City Council for their political and rhetorical skill.

  Eventually, Lin rose to become a legislator, while the relative political success of the other two musketeers is self-evident. But all things must end, and Lin increasingly started to come into conflict with his party. He just couldn't buck the stereotype that Mainlanders want Taiwan to unify with China.

  In the end, he quit the DPP, and has been making the late-night talk show rounds ever since -- the Taiwanese political equivalent to the Hollywood star who was big way back when, but now makes a living hawking hair growth treatments ("I'm not just a spokesman for Hair Club for Men, I'm also a client!).

  Well, if Chin follows through on his threat to sue the big bully, Lin's probably going to add "convicted criminal" to his list of titles, joining an exclusive club of Taiwanese political figures that includes, well, half of the Legislative Yuan.

  I won't bother to babble about how terrible it is for Taiwan's political divisions to swell to the extent that violence has usurped reasonable debate.

  All I can really say is this, and I hope my female readers will forgive my use of the expression: Lin, you slap like a girl. If you're brave enough to risk getting your ass kicked rhetorically and physically, try taking on a real man.

  Try taking on Vice President Annette Lu (呂秀蓮).

  Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
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