A while back, a couple came to my hospital's outpatient clinic. The man kept on refusing to say anything. Finally, the woman couldn't take it any longer and said, "You have been unable to have an erection and you still refuse any medical treatment." The man loudly replied, "So what if I can't get an erection. I don't want medical treatment."After an argument between the two, they left with the man still refusing medical treatment.
Asian attitude toward sex are different from westerners. As a result of prolonged subjugation to the supreme powers of the monarch, father and husband, women's rights still has a way to go in contemporary Taiwan.
In fact, generally-held but mistaken beliefs about sex have further contributed to the lag in pursuing equality between the sexes.
Advances in modern medicine mean most types of sexual incompetence or dysfunction may be cured through medical treatment.
A concept produced by advances in cypridology is that sex is a right and even more, an obligation.
Article 995 of Taiwan's Civil Code explicitly states that "when one of the parties [to the marriage] is incurably incompetent, the other [party] may request a revocation [of the marriage]."
Irrespective of whether we can expand the definition of "incurable incompetence" to include those who are curable but do not get cured, the law has essentially told us that sex is an obligation.
From the standpoint of sexual equality, sex must be satisfying to both participants and both sides must be considerate of each other's feelings.
However, Asian males perceive sex as a weapon through which they conquer women and treat it as an essential power.
Therefore, men consider themselves to hold the right to the exclusive use of this "weapon." They enjoy total discretionary powers about whether to give sex or not and how much.
Many patents suffering from premature ejaculation seek medical treatment because they believe that early ejaculation means that they are incapable.
Actually, what they should care about more about is the feelings of their partners. If the partner is satisfied, then the duration of the erection is not very important.
If the partner is not satisfied, even if the erection lasts more than 10 minutes, the man should still seek medical treatment for the sake of his partner.
Therefore, the purpose of treating premature ejaculation is the feelings of the patients' partners. Some patients refuse treatment, even if their wives want them to seek treatment.
According to a major research survey, as many as 63 percent of the interviewees rated sex as their favorite aspect of married life.
So, if a man boasts how much he loves his wife, yet he declines medical treatment for a curable sexual dysfunction, then he is actually depriving his wife of her favorite aspect of their married life.
Western women seeking sexual equality have learned to take the initiative in dealing with such problems by not only pursuading their partners to seek medical treatment, but by accompanying them to the doctors in order to deal with the problem together.
If the husband refuses to seek medical treatment, the wife could claim it as her right that the husband seek treatment.
Ultimately, sex is a mutual obligation of both parties in a marriage. It also holds a couple together.
The women's rights movement in the west has made such progress.
Where is Taiwan's women's rights movement heading? Let us wait and see.
Lee Ming-chan is the chief of urology at the Taipei Municipal Ho Ping Hospital.
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