The Ten Exaggerations
Dear Johnny,
The Top Ten Things I Dislike About the Current Government:
10. Although the DPP didn’t fare any better, I’m still irritated every time I see a shitty sign in English that is just plain stupid.
9. Police beat up people, reporters and others; they take people’s flags away and shut down the Sunrise Music Store … and they got away with it “clean” … WTF is wrong here?
8. The government wants to amend the Assembly and Parade Act (集會遊行法) to suit its own needs. On top of that, it wants to punish lawmakers who locked the doors to two meetings to vote on the amendment. Truly weird to try and pursue people who were defending a right they have and don’t want to lose. This is already an authoritarian regime.
7. People turning onto a road without first checking to their left. I am not against a driver exercising his right to drive, but please: If I’m going straight and I hit you because you popped out of an alley without looking, then why should I take the blame?
6. Taiwanese need a crash course on what foreigners are and how they differ. We have different cultures, and as a foreigner I have almost eight years of learning under my belt. How many Taiwanese can claim to know about foreign cultures? I’d appreciate a stat on that.
5. I can’t understand this one little bit. Many DPP officials are on trial. Few KMT officials are. I’ve lived here for about eight years, and I know that the proportion is usually 60-40 … nowadays it’s about 90-10. What more needs to be said? Nine out of 10 officials on trial are green!?
4. Allowing more Chinese tourists seems fine. That was my take on things up until this swine flu thing came up. I am very worried that some selfish Chinese tourist will use fever masking medicine and sneak into Taiwan thinking, “I don’t want to spend my vacation in quarantine.” I’m sorry to disappoint my Chinese friends, but honestly many of them are selfish. They should all provide oral samples on arrival!
3. No self-reflection: Although I did find it lame to see the DPP government say it was sorry and that it needed to reflect on its decisions and whatnot, I still prefer this to a government that doesn’t respond to any criticism. The KMT makes mistakes like any other government. Why can’t they admit it just once?
2. Press freedom: Freedom House placed Taiwan 11 spots down this year. Enough said! I wonder how long I’ll be able to write to a newspaper before someone instructs me not to. I also wonder if my i-Report will be shown on CNN.
1. Why does the KMT not understand that they are being pushed into a corner? These plutocrats think that talks with China are so great for business … until the CCP imposes rules that they deem unfair, that is. Then, when you complain, they’ll just toss you in jail like in Russia. Yeah! Shit happens!
T. HARRY
Taipei
Johnny replies: A word from the wise (or wise-ass, if you prefer): straight-faced exaggeration will get you nowhere ... or maybe a media job.
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