For many who lived through Vermont's not-so-civil debate making it the first state in the US to allow civil unions, the memories remain painfully fresh: hate mail, threatening telephone messages, tense public meetings.
This time around, as the small northeastern state weighs whether to join neighboring Massachusetts in legalizing gay marriage, the debate is noticeably tamer, with little of the vitriol and recrimination that surrounded its groundbreaking 2000 decision to legally recognize gay and lesbian couples.
It is early: Lawmakers say they are unlikely to push for a vote this year on pending legislation that would legalize full same-sex marriage, although a state-appointed panel has been gathering public input and is due to report to state lawmakers in April.
Although that absence of an impending vote may be what is keeping things civil, people involved in the debate have noticed a change in atmosphere.
"It's a very different tenor," said Beth Robinson, chairwoman of the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force, which supports gay marriage. "People have had an opportunity to come to terms. Vermonters have had eight years to see the two guys next door, or the two women down the street who have a legally recognized relationship under the civil unions law."
On Dec. 20, 1999, the Vermont Supreme Court ruled that barring same-sex unions was unconstitutional and ordered state lawmakers to come up with a law accommodating them. That triggered a yearlong battle in which a state that prides itself on tolerance seemed to lack it.
Supporters and opponents alike streamed into Montpelier, the capital, to rally and lobby lawmakers.
When the law took effect on July 1, 2000, it did not quell the controversy or the fallout. It became a central issue in that year's elections and 17 incumbents who voted in favor lost their seats.
An exit poll of voters that November found the state split 49 percent to 49 percent on whether civil unions were a good idea. Four years later, the poll asked voters to choose between three options for recognition of same-sex unions: full marriage, civil unions or no recognition. Forty percent said they supported marriage, 37 percent civil unions and 21 percent neither.
Other states followed Vermont's lead. Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire have endorsed civil unions and California and Washington have enacted domestic partner laws. Only Massachusetts permits gay marriage.
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