For a movie premised on unrelenting action, Crank proves fatally turgid. The premise takes high concept to a new low. Chev Chelios (Jason Stratham), hit man extraordinaire, wakes up to learn he's been dosed with "the Beijing cocktail," a poison whose lethal effects can be fended off only by a constant surge of adrenaline. Thus, with utmost speed, in this retread of Speed, Chev rampages through Los Angeles seeking Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), the rival who poisoned him, and the means of sustaining his neck-bulging buzz.
He chugs Red Bull, gobbles energy supplements, injects ephedrine, fondles a defibrillator, licks cocaine off a bathroom floor, snorts nasal decongestant by the bottle and rapes his girlfriend (Amy Smart, playing dumb) in the middle of Chinatown. Mostly, however, he's powered by rage, which he vents through explosions of violence and misanthropy.
The writing and directing team of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor jack up the action with all manner of gore, gimmickry and hysterical camerawork, none of which is as vigorous as the equal-opportunity hatred they exhibit toward the denizens of Los Angeles, be they black, Latino, Asian, Muslim, gay, female or theater customers paying to see a decent action flick.
PHOTO COURTESY OF PANDASIA
That last demographic may feel most insulted of all when, in the climactic showdown, Verona holsters his gun to plunge another syringe of poison into Chev's neck — you know, the one that doesn't work — then turns his back to make a getaway. He may be one of the dumbest villains in movie history, but you've got to root for him. Dead, Chev puts everyone out of his misery.
April 28 to May 4 During the Japanese colonial era, a city’s “first” high school typically served Japanese students, while Taiwanese attended the “second” high school. Only in Taichung was this reversed. That’s because when Taichung First High School opened its doors on May 1, 1915 to serve Taiwanese students who were previously barred from secondary education, it was the only high school in town. Former principal Hideo Azukisawa threatened to quit when the government in 1922 attempted to transfer the “first” designation to a new local high school for Japanese students, leading to this unusual situation. Prior to the Taichung First
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