Apparently, the Poo-Chewer-in-Chief is going by the old maxim, “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”
Problem is, he’s getting us so damn close to them that on a quiet night, you can now clearly hear the strains of The East is Red wafting across the Taiwan Strait from Fuzhou.
Lastly, I’m happy to report — for those of you who were wondering — that the Hannibal, Missouri, Taiwan Project’s “Traditional Meal” was again a smashing success this year.
The Hannibal Courier Post had the scoop. Attendees watched a video called The Beauty of Taiwan, then had a videoconference with teens from Taipei’s Dali High School.
“Our Hannibal students were so excited to see them and the girls on both sides ran to the Web camera and started talking how they missed each other, including such topics as their new hair styles. This showed the audience how teenagers in Taiwan have the same interests as teenagers in America and how truly ‘small’ the world has become due to technology.”
Ah, yes, thanks to the miracle of the Internet, we can confirm that teenage girls are equally superficial everywhere. It’s a small, inane world after all.
When the hormone-crazed girls of Hannibal start running around in black socks pulled up to their knees, remarking on how everything’s hen ke-ai, we’ll know that globalization has truly triumphed.
But I don’t mean to hurl a brown one into the non-alcoholic spritzer bowl here. Sounds like a great exchange program.
So don’t take offense, girls — I’m just a cranky bastard that might not have a paycheck soon.
Where did I put those Megadeth albums, anyway?
Got something to tell Johnny? Go on, get it off your chest. Write to dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com, but be sure to put “Dear Johnny” in the subject line or he’ll mark your bouquets and brickbats as spam.
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