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Johnny Neihu's Mailbag

Edison: the green connection

Dear Johnny,

I was surprised to find Taiwan's news media have not been entirely consumed by the exploits of Edison Chen's appurtenance, as they have found time to broadcast "news" of Barack Obama's alleged sexual encounter with a gay coke dealer.

When I first heard of this, I did a quick Internet search only to find publication of this "news" was limited to insignificant blogs and some wacko's YouTube video. It seems the story has since been relegated to the urban myths heap. So how does such an unsubstantiated news story make it onto Taiwan's TV news?

As I contemplated this, I envisioned a scene that takes place about 50 years from now, where a little girl and an old man are sitting on a sun-baked lake bed in a parched and desolate environment. With a mix of sorrow and condemnation, the little girl looks up and asks: "Grandpa, what were you all doing when you first knew global warming was for real?"

As he gazes into the distance, we see him recalling a TV news channel broadcasting the adventures of Edison Chen's throbbing proboscis.

Hats off to the news media for keeping us informed on the important issues.

Matthew Lien

Taipei

Johnny replies: Rule of thumb: Any time Edison gets it on with a tweenie starlet, plant a tree.

It won't make a difference to global warming, but at least it might beautify the grey, dusty shitholes where we live.
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