Health authorities in Taiwan yesterday released a statement confirming a dangerous outbreak of a new bird-flu disease dubbed "Cuckoo Bird Flu" (CBF).
Unlike the H5N1 virus strain found in China, Vietnam and Thailand which affects the lungs and respiratory system, the CBF strain has only been confirmed in Taiwan and is more closely related to CJD, or "brain-wasting disease." Symptoms include delusional feelings of power and grandeur, audacity, arrogance, childlike behavior and a weakening backbone. While asleep, victims are often heard mumbling, "It's not fair, it's not fair."
Several victims have developed a unique facial expression which health authorities liken to a loser's smirk. The disease is believed to have evolved from dogs eating dogs.
Health authorities fear that almost 49 percent of the Taiwanese population has been exposed to CBF to different degrees. The only known treatment for CBF is large doses of reality and exposure to the public will, but authorities fear treatment has not been sought by most of the victims. Health authorities, under their own guidance -- since access to World Heath Organization databases is blocked for political reasons -- are stating that only a mass evacuation to China or mass culling of the victims will contain this deadly flu.
Long-term repercussions of the condition include the loss of the ability to speak, to exercise government control, to worship and to collect tax revenue.
Marc Plumb
Taipei
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