Female fashion tips
Promise two weeks of near nakedness at the seaside in 30 degrees Celsius heat and we plunge into a fashion crisis. Elle Macpherson's boho chic is a stretch for most of us and, under a leaden sky, Liz Hurley's bikini perfection seems way out of reach.
How many swimsuits do I need? How do I tie a sarong? Will I look fat in a kaftan? Can I wear heels on sand. Is jewellery on the beach a fashion faux-pas? And so the crisis deepens.
I urge you to embrace the kaftan. It will not make you look like Shelley Winters in her latter years. On the contrary, it is a fashion godsend. I have always hated sarongs. No matter how carefully I follow the instructions in fashion magazines, illustrated with drawings of stick figures with no waist or shoul-ders, I end up with a lump of fabric just about where I want lunch to go. Or I'm almost strangled by something I was assured would be an effortless twist at the neck.
The kaftan is miraculous. Slip it on over a damp swimsuit and you are ready for the restaurant. It covers every figure fault and accommodates the largest lunch. Pack at least two. If you love your legs go for mid-thigh length.
You never can have too many swimsuits. If you have several, you wear each one less often and they all last longer. Wait until the sales and buy the best you can afford.
Only wash them by hand and line-dry them. There are days when any girl's bod is bikini-ready and others when only full cover will do. Some days you want glamor (Liza Bruce) and on others a bit of sporty fun (the new Speedo range).
The only heels that belong on sand are wedges. Stick to natural materials such as rope, cork or raffia. Flats work in rugged bridle leather, but nothing flatters sunkissed feet like a decorated sandal.
Only sharks are attracted by real jewellery at the seaside. A woman with all her bling on looks as though she is trying too hard.
Never take anything on the beach that you'd be sad to lose.
Don't ruin a great look with a tatty beach bag. Straw baskets say "Mediterranean glamour." Canvas totes are "preppy chic." But open- weave bags let the sand in, and leather is too workaday.
Big, brimmed hats are a struggle. You can't fault them for glamor and they are safe in the sun. However, they leave a ring around your head that makes you look a bit of silly.
Stick with scarfs and big, retro shades.
Paula Reed is style director of `Grazia' magazine (`The Observer').
Men's fashion tips
You would have thought by now that men would have it sussed when it comes to dressing for the beach. We all know (well, everyone but porky, middle-aged men with excessive body hair, that is) that thongs aren't the babe magnets some of us hoped they might be, that a socks 'n' sandals combo tends not to make it into the fashion pages of Vogue and tight T-shirts with ironic slogans look better on those too young to know what irony actually means.
But beach etiquette is now more complicated. If you don't wish to stick out like a sore thumb and end up being targeted by a multitude of multilingual touts flogging tie-dyed sarongs, you need to adapt your wardrobe to the location.
On a recent business trip to Rio, myself and a couple of fellow Brits were fortunate enough to have a few free hours to sunbathe on Ipanema beach. This is one of the most extraordinary strips of sand in the world. All the locals -- male and female -- look like extras from a Mario Testino shoot. We put our towels down next to a volleyball game whose players were all pleasingly taut, tanned and skimpily attired. One of our group, whose ample pale skin made Dracula look like George Hamilton unveiled his beach look: a pair of shapeless, high-cut, garishly colored shorts, a scarily snug, white gym vest and a giant pair of sunglasses. He resembled Truman Capote shortly before he died.
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