Those who do identify themselves as gay are careful about how, and to whom, they reveal their sexuality.
Tam, a 24-year-old graphic design artist, has never told his parents, fellow students or work colleagues that he is gay. "If you don't officially announce it, then people are obliged to treat you equally," said the slightly-built amateur DJ.
There are no laws or regulations on homosexuality or homosexuals in Vietnam, and no mention of gays as a risk group for HIV and AIDS.
Donn Colby believes the omission of homosexuals from public HIV prevention messages has encouraged MSM to underestimate their vulnerability to infection.
The misconception is worrying, given that Colby's survey of 219 MSM concluded that members of this group have multiple sexual partners, do not use condoms regularly and are at high risk of contracting HIV.
"But things are changing slowly," said Colby. "A programme (funded by the Ford Foundation) on men's sexual health in Nha Trang includes MSM."
Male prostitution and public sex venues are widespread in Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi. Zoos, parks, lakes, swimming pools and saunas have all been identified by state-run media as venues for sex between men.
But while police find it hard to take action against gay activity in public places, they move decisively on male brothels. One of Ho Chi Minh City's few male brothels was closed down last year and its owner slapped with a 10-year prison sentence.
The mainstream gay scene in the southern metropolis is also facing hard times, with its only gay club shuttered, ostensibly for refurbishment.
Minh, a 24 year-old architect with a French boyfriend, expressed his frustration at the gay community's lack of clear identity.
"I just think we should think more about us as a group. We should let people know that we exist," he said.
"Coming out is not enough. We need a voice."
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