Sat, Feb 17, 2007 page8

• Johnny Neihu's Mailbag

  The political correctness of saying "Lunar New Year" comes under the microscope, while Johnny likens the UN's approach to China to a smitten groupie waiting for hours outside the trailer of a has-been rock star with halitosis.

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  Politically correct pork

  Dear Johnny,
  

  Is saying "Happy Lunar New Year" politically correct nowadays in Taiwan or will a group of irate "trade unionists" attack me if I say it?

  Also, if the coming year is the Year of the Pig, will it be possible to buy decent bacon instead of the crap streaky bacon sold here?

  Pete Jones
  

  Taipei

  Johnny replies: I've never been one to advocate political correctness. But I've never been one to advocate political incorrectness either. The actual content of both are vulnerable to whoever has the power to induce guilt or outrage at any time.

  But I can tell you that "Chinese New Year" is a politically incorrect expression at this newspaper, not just because Taiwan isn't part of China, but also because China is not the only state or national "culture" that marks the lunar calendar.

  So if some demented "trade unionists" (politically polite code for pro-blue-camp labor bosses) take you to task for daring to name a calendar event after the moon, refer them to me and I will find out why it is exactly that the Republic of China is averse to politically correct pork.

  Zero sum blame

  Dear Johnny,
  

  I saw an article on the front page of the Sept. 29 edition of the China Post that stated Taiwan (under the name "Republic of China") was "ousted" from the UN in 1971. From what I have read, this is not exactly true.

  There was a proposal for both Taiwan and China to join the UN in 1971, but Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek (蔣介石) was still under the delusion that the KMT was the legitimate government of China and therefore could not accept recognition of Mao Zedong (毛澤東) and the People's Republic of China as representatives of China, so he walked out (and screwed Taiwan).

  The casual reader would get the impression that Taiwan was simply kicked out of the UN. Is there some reason this article glosses over the facts? Your clarification would be most appreciated.

  Jeff Frazier
  

  Taipei

  Johnny replies: Sorry about the delay in replying, Jeff. The China Post is loath to cast Chiang and his kleptomaniacal clique in a bad light -- if it did, it would be dumping all over the Chinese Nationalist claim to Taiwan and it would have to rename itself the Taiwan Post. And yes, there is a debate about whether Chiang forfeited continued UN representation by playing a zero sum game instead of looking to the future. Then again, Chiang was never known for his insights into the currents of geopolitical thought.

  But these things don't matter any more. As I've said before, Jeff, who cares about the UN? It can't save Darfur, Iraq or the bulk of their tormented residents, and it can't save Taiwan from future Chinese molestation.

  Chiang got kicked out and richly deserved it. But he took the rest of us with him into purgatory, and if the UN can't atone for that, then to hell with it, as well as its gutless agencies like the WHO, and the rest of the drivel that passes for debate in the General Assembly.

  And believe me, when UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon gets into the swing of things, we will be privileged witnesses to not only faux Inscrutable Oriental posturing, but also some of the most repulsive scenes of Sinofellatio yet seen at UN headquarters.

  You'll be wishing Kofi Annan were still around as you dash off to buy a raincoat.

  The Johnny Neihu Manual for the Identification of Dissembling UN Secretaries-GeneralTM can spot a China shill oceans away. And I tell you, the diagnostic results for this South Korean do not look very good at all.
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