I thought the anti-Chen Shui-bian (
Then it was canines wrapped in red, including the golden retriever I saw plastered with a sign saying "I'm better than A-bian" and trained to carry a red bucket to collect receipts for Chen's much-maligned "secret diplomatic fund."
But I nearly sprayed my Whisby out of my nose when I turned on the idiot box a couple of nights ago to see a three-year-old girl delivering a squeaky anti-Chen diatribe and giving her hen ke'ai version of the now-ubiquitous thumbs-down sign.
What's next -- trotting out an ultrasound of a fetus pointing its still-forming thumb downward? Do these people have no shame?
I'm all for prosecuting the Receipt-Collector-in-Chief after he's finished his term -- if investigators find he's done anything illegal (under a little document called the Constitution, he's immune from criminal charges while in office, unless he commits "rebellion or treason").
But in my book, falsifying receipts, as his critics allege Chen and his wife have done, pales in comparison to turning guileless children into political puppets. Those responsible for such abuse should be forced to xiatai from their parental duties, and be given a sound thrashing for good measure.
But at least the rally organizers have stopped blithering about Nazca lines and other kooky ideas (leave it to the Democratic Progressive Party to fight back with giant, malformed white gloves and appeals for "Nazca lines of love"). Now, Shih's mob has moved on to providing us Taiwanese with what we really care about: business opportunities. What with all the T-shirts and other "Depose Chen" paraphernalia, I wouldn't be surprised to see the nation's GDP spike up this month.
Strike or no strike, who said that Chen wasn't good for the economy?
One of the most creative moneymaking schemes, if the United Daily News is to be believed, is the Chen Shui-bian voodoo doll, the brainchild of a couple surnamed Lin.
"We hit upon the idea because we found all the anti-Chen commodities were not cute, so we began to make Chen Shui-bian voodoo dolls with hemp thread," said Lin, according to Deutsche Presse-Agentur's translation. They're reportedly selling like, yes, hotcakes, at NT$180 (US$5.50) a pop.
Meanwhile, Shih and his gang have trotted out just about every washed-up singer, painfully earnest high school student, drug-addled English teacher and underexposed actor they can find, turning Ketagalan Boulevard into a Woodstock for Wankers.
But soon, they'll have to cast their eyes abroad for more fodder. Here's a tip: when you see former US child star Gary Coleman and the dinosaurs of pop Air Supply on stage in crimson garb with extended thumbs, you'll know the rally is near its last gasp. Or when you hear the crowd chanting "A-bian xiatai" to the tune of Macarena (I clearly heard a version to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic, so all things are possible).
Some have tried to compare Shih's campaign to the historic "People Power" movement that ousted Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos in 1986, but if so then it's history repeating itself as farce, in the hackneyed words of the original "Red" (that's Karl Marx, for my younger readers).
In fact, gazing over the crowd of ridiculous mask-wearers, red ribbon tiers, Nazca-line dreamers, dressed-up dogs, goofy teens skipping school, has-been entertainers, gyrating middle-aged men, balloon-clad "warriors" and toothless geezers holding up placards with incoherent insults in "English," it becomes clear that what we are witnessing is far beyond "People Power." Call it "Dork Power."
But will Dork Power bring down the president? I wouldn't bet vital organs on it, unless they find evidence that he's killed a baby.
Why? It comes down to three simple words, the ones that make Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Chairman Ma Ying-jeou (
Endnote: According to the New York Times on Thursday, Beijing and local Chinese officials have been fudging fatalities from Super Typhoon Saomai. I am crestfallen that the hard work of the scientists who invented the death toll "quotients" I outlined last week has been libeled in such a comprehensive manner. Shame, NYT, shame.
Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
Taiwan has lost Trump. Or so a former State Department official and lobbyist would have us believe. Writing for online outlet Domino Theory in an article titled “How Taiwan lost Trump,” Christian Whiton provides a litany of reasons that the William Lai (賴清德) and Donald Trump administrations have supposedly fallen out — and it’s all Lai’s fault. Although many of Whiton’s claims are misleading or ill-informed, the article is helpfully, if unintentionally, revealing of a key aspect of the MAGA worldview. Whiton complains of the ruling Democratic Progressive Party’s “inability to understand and relate to the New Right in America.” Many
US lobbyist Christian Whiton has published an update to his article, “How Taiwan Lost Trump,” discussed on the editorial page on Sunday. His new article, titled “What Taiwan Should Do” refers to the three articles published in the Taipei Times, saying that none had offered a solution to the problems he identified. That is fair. The articles pushed back on points Whiton made that were felt partisan, misdirected or uninformed; in this response, he offers solutions of his own. While many are on point and he would find no disagreement here, the nuances of the political and historical complexities in
Taiwan is to hold a referendum on Saturday next week to decide whether the Ma-anshan Nuclear Power Plant, which was shut down in May after 40 years of service, should restart operations for as long as another 20 years. The referendum was proposed by the opposition Taiwan People’s Party (TPP) and passed in the legislature with support from the opposition Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT). Its question reads: “Do you agree that the Ma-anshan Nuclear Power Plant should continue operations upon approval by the competent authority and confirmation that there are no safety concerns?” Supporters of the proposal argue that nuclear power
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) earlier this month raised its travel alert for China’s Guangdong Province to Level 2 “Alert,” advising travelers to take enhanced precautions amid a chikungunya outbreak in the region. More than 8,000 cases have been reported in the province since June. Chikungunya is caused by the chikungunya virus and transmitted to humans through bites from infected mosquitoes, most commonly Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus. These species thrive in warm, humid climates and are also major vectors for dengue, Zika and yellow fever. The disease is characterized by high fever and severe, often incapacitating joint pain.
RSS