Many young Taiwanese are not unwilling to have children, but tend to be more cautious as they evaluate practical conditions before getting married and having kids, a counseling psychologist said.
The latest Ministry of the Interior statistics showed the number of newborns plunging to a historical low of 98,785 in the first 11 months of last year.
New Taipei City Counseling Psychologist Association president Lo Hui-chun (羅惠群) said that rather than saying young people “do not want to have children,” it is more like “they are thinking more comprehensively.”
Photo: CNA
Based on his clinical observation of many people of marriageable years, Lo said many of them conduct long-term, comprehensive evaluations — including couple relationships, personal conditions and future lifestyles — before deciding whether to get married or have children.
Many young people who come to him for pre-marital counseling more often discuss practical conditions rather than romantic issues, such as “where they would live” or “if they are capable of raising children,” he said.
Conditions including whether they already own a property or would need to rent or buy a house, nearly always come up in their discussions before getting married, Lo said, adding that concerns about housing instability directly affect people’s sense of security in deciding to get married or have children.
Regarding the phenomenon of late marriage and delayed childbearing, he said if couples do not plan to have children, late marriage is not an issue, but if they agree to have children, age becomes a reality they cannot ignore.
The prime marriage age is around 32 or 33 years old, but many couples do not want to get married and have children when they have just dated for a short period, while those who get married want to ensure they have a stable relationship before having children, he said.
Entering the parenting stage when the foundation of a marriage relationship is not solid enough often leads to increased risks of marital conflicts and separation, he added.
“Whether to have children or not” has become an important threshold for deciding to get married or not, Lo said.
If two people have different views on having children, then marriage might not be a possibility, so most couples start making childbearing plans before marriage or in the early stages of marriage, he said.
Many young people tend to avoid making significant commitments when conditions are uncertain, unlike the previous generation’s attitude that “I will have children because everyone is having them,” he said.
The real-life struggle is that many young people’s working conditions and asset accumulation cannot keep up with the ideal lifestyle they have in mind, Lo said.
If they do not find support from their family, they might continue to delay marriage and childbearing decisions, or just avoid the issue altogether, he said.
The difficulties and stress of taking care of children are challenges “after the child is born,” so what really affects the nation’s birthrate is whether a couple dares to make the decision in the first place, he added.
Lo said the change in making such decisions is not necessarily a bad thing, as it reflects people increasingly valuing their autonomy and quality of life.
In his counseling sessions, Lo said he helps couples make an inventory of their career, income and living conditions for the next three to five years, aiding those “who have an opportunity and the conditions” to get married, but are still hesitant about making a decision.
Social media often exaggerate the image of a “perfect life,” causing excessive stress on young people, he said.
What young people need is to get back to reality and engage in full conversations with their partner, family and professionals if they have trouble making decisions, he said.
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