The wedding of President Chen Shui-bian's (陳水扁) daughter last month brought warm news to the nation. The wedding ceremony followed traditional customs. The bride and the groom, for instance, sat side by side on a love seat, symbolizing their intention to share good times and bad. When the bride got into the limousine, she dropped a red paper fan (扇) out of the window. This act is intended as a pun on the saying, "Goodness is left in her parents' family; the emotional ties do not fade away" (留善娘家,感情不散). All these rituals have ethical significance and highlight Chinese society's emphasis on family relations.
But these rituals also include many inappropriate concepts and practices that discriminate against women.
The most conspicuous example is that after the bride dropped the paper fan out of the limousine, her mother poured water out of a basin. That symbolizes the daughter's future commitment to her husband's family and the conclusion of her relations with her own family. The first lady then turned to joke with her relatives that she hoped her married daughter would not come back to ask for a share of the family property.
These words and the water-pouring ritual reflect the traditional bias against women. Even worse, they basically violate Article 1138 of the Civil Code, which stipulates that women and men enjoy equal rights to inherit property. Perhaps the first lady did not mean to discriminate against her daughter, but her words implied improper concepts that belittle women. Such bias has caused serious discrimination against a daughter's right to an inheritance. Academic studies show that fewer than 20 out of every 100 Taiwanese women enjoy this right when the occasion arises. Eight out of 100 only inherit a small portion of the property.
Other traditional rituals worthy of reflection surround people's hope of giving birth to male offspring. When a female matchmaker feeds the newlyweds "tang-yuan" (湯圓, a sweet soup with marble-sized orbs made of glutinous rice), she utters auspicious words, in keeping with tradition, about, "eating sweets and having boys" (吃甜甜,生後生[兒子]). Sometimes, guests may even jump onto the stage to share their secrets with the newlyweds about how to conceive a baby boy. All these reinforce the conventional bias -- male supremacy.
In the end, President Chen advised the couple that they would both be in the same boat, but he then told the groom, "Now I give my daughter to you." This also implies a traditional idea -- the husband is the head of the family and responsible for taking care of his wife. Women are like goods that can be handed over to their husbands like belongings.
In reality, many contemporary parents realize that daughters are often the most caring children. Daughters often return home to share heart-to-heart talks with their parents. They leave behind their work and family, even sacrifice marriages, to look after their ill parents. Many career women still bring their parents money and fulfill their filial duties. Female talents and characteristics all play irreplaceable roles in family and society. Most importantly, in a civilized society, discrimination against any group breaches social justice and human rights.
I therefore recommend that mothers never pour water in wedding ceremonies, but instead tell their daughters that they are welcome home any time and loved by the family forever. Fathers should exhort sons-in-law that they should not merely focus on work, but should also take care of the family. Matchmakers should say, "Boys and girls are equally good." Guests should provide their tips on how to raise a healthy baby, instead of only caring about the baby's gender.
Flora Chang is an associate professor of the Graduate Institute of Journalism at National Taiwan University.
Translated by Jackie Lin
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