The February wind blowing off the Pentland Firth in Scotland should be a deterrent to anyone planning a long walk. So, as the Naked Rambler and his girlfriend finally arrived at the northernmost tip of Scotland on Monday, their first thoughts turned to clothes.
"Quick, get them on," Stephen Gough said to his partner, Melanie Roberts. It is a phrase that has been muttered, without success, by a good many people since the pair set out in their birthday suits from Land's End, the most southerly point in Britain, last June.
The lady in the shop in Shropshire where they stopped to buy piccalilli said it. The kirk minister affronted at their flesh said it. The local magistrates said it. The prison governor said it. But where man failed, only nature could prevail.
"You get used to the cold when you're walking about, but the minute you stop that's when it hits," Gough said, reaching for a pair of green Y-fronts.
Before they dressed, there was a little welcome party of locals waiting at John O'Groats with cameras and mobile phones to record the end of the 1,398km naked walk. Bobbie, a man in his 70s from the village of Halkirk, near Thurso, had driven down especially.
"It's not him I've come to see, it's the girlfriend; I'm a bachelor so I've not seen as much as a married man," he said unabashed. "It's a bit of fun. There's not much else to brighten the winter here."
Clothed, the naked ramblers reckon they could have completed the walk in 40 days, covering about 30km a day. Naked, a few problems with the law lengthened the expedition. Gough was arrested nine times; Roberts five. The first time was in the town of Wem, where they bought the piccalilli.
"I've never been in trouble with the police before and I found the first night in the cells quite frightening," Roberts, who, when clothed, spends her time cutting hair in Bournemouth said.
"I still don't see what all the fuss is about. My body is nothing to be ashamed about, although I don't really like my thighs and bum," she said.
In all, Gough, a former royal marine, has spent four months in jail for causing offence with his naked ramble.
"What's the point, why do it? Why do anything?" he said.
"I want to show people that nakedness is nothing to be ashamed about and they should not pass their shame on to their kids. But why walk to John O'Groats? God knows," Gough said.
In the dead of winter John O'Groats has all the charm of a labor camp. Still, the locals have been nice.
"We've had people taking us in for the night, giving us breakfast, being really kind, most people have been really supportive," Gough said. The constant offers of tea, though, were a bit of a problem.
"It's really nice of people but if you keep stopping you start seizing up," he said.
The offer of coffee at the Crofter's Kitchen is not, however, refused. Gough says he would probably do it again. Roberts looks over. "Definitely", she says. "But somewhere a bit warmer."
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