"It's election fever!" yells Captain Beany, the bright orange superhero hoping to be Britain's first elected baked bean.
With Prime Minister Tony Blair's Labor Party looking set for a third straight comfortable victory and fears of widespread voter apathy tomorrow, for many, the general election campaign has been downright dull.
But clad in a cape with "laser x-ray specs" on his bean-like bald orange head, the man once voted Britain's fourth-best eccentric is putting a stop to all that by standing for parliament.
Baked beans, a tinned concoction of cooked flageolet beans in a thin tomato sauce, beloved by generations of Britons, are what oddball Captain Beany is all about, notably their reputation for inducing flatulence.
Beany says he has smelt enough hot air from mainstream politicians, and is out to blow a "wind of change" through British politics.
Zero hope candidates
Apart from his New Millennium Bean Party, a wealth of curious characters -- from the Dungeons, Death and Taxes Party to the Church of the Militant Elvis -- are running for election.
Virtually all have zero hope of winning the five percent of votes needed to retain the ?500 (US$950) deposit demanded of election candidates, a fee intended to put off the likes of bright orange baked beans from standing.
"They say free democracy, but democracy pays, I'm afraid," Beany told reporters. "But that's not going to stop people like myself. Whoopee, let's get everyone going!" he cried.
"You get too much of it down your throat, blah, blah, blah. People are so bored with politicians spouting the same stuff," the candidate for the Welsh constituency of Cardiff Central said. "It's great having offbeat political parties."
Beany's manifesto is easily digestible. He vows to keep beans on toast in every Cardiff cafe, perform daily bean quality checks and remain "incredibly orange."
Full-blown policies, not "half-baked", he insists.
And Britain beware -- Beany has kicked up a political stink before. He once polled more than the Liberal Democrats, Britain's third-biggest party.
Fringe politics
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party, led by Alan `Howling Lord' Hope, are the godfathers of barmy fringe politics in Britain.
"I get a real sense of fun out of it," longstanding Loony Hope told reporters from party headquarters -- a bar. "I'm probably the most professional politician in this area!"
The Loony "manicfesto" (under the slogan "Vote for insanity -- you know it makes sense!") pledges to introduce a ?0.99 coin to save on change, scrap the unpopular number 13 and reduce school class sizes by moving desks closer together. Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party has been fielding candidates in general elections for more than 20 years.
Now-deceased leader "Screaming" Lord Sutch pioneered joke candidacies, standing for parliament more than 40 times, only once breaching the 1,000-vote barrier.
Behind the madcap antics and policies, Beany and Hope insist there is something endearingly British about it all, and believe they are making a stand for British democracy.
"It's to wind up mainstream politics. This is what this country holds dear: true democracy. Anybody from the street upwards can have a go," Beany said.
"The serious point is poking fun at politics and getting things changed in our own way," he added.
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