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Women’s group speaks out after brutal murders

By Loa Iok-sin
STAFF REPORTER
Friday, Jul 11, 2008, Page 2

In the wake of several recent brutal murders committed by people in troubled relationships, the Modern Women’s Foundation yesterday urged people to observe a potential partner’s personal traits before entering a relationship and to be very cautious when ending the relationship.

Earlier this month, a couple who lived together in Taoyuan County became embroiled in an argument over financial problems. The man ended up killing his girlfriend, cut the corpse into pieces, put them into large black kitchen bags and threw her remains into a river.

On Tuesday, a man jumped off a 30-story building in Tamsui (淡水), Taipei County, after cutting his girlfriend’s throat and gouging out her eyes because she wanted to break up with him.

These are not isolated cases, said Yao Shu-wen (姚淑文), the foundation’s executive director,

“From January last year to the end of June, in just a year and a half, we’ve counted 264 incidents of violence or murder, including 36 deaths, stemming from relationship problems,” she told a news conference in Taipei.

“That implies that, on average, there is one such case every two days,” she said, adding that relationship violence was becoming a serious social issue.

The foundation’s research showed that the biggest reason behind such tragedies was one of the partners wanting to end the relationship, accounting for 65.15 percent of the incidents.

“You can be very romantic about a relationship, but when dealing with problems in a relationship, you must stay rational,” said Lai Fang-yu (賴芳玉), a lawyer and foundation board member.

Psychiatrist James Lee (李光輝) suggested that people should keep an eye out for certain personality traits in the object of their desire before entering a relationship.

“You could try to check with people they know if the person has a tendency to resolve problems through violence,” Lee said. “You should also observe whether the person is an alcoholic or a drug abuser.”

“If the person you’re going on a date with has one of these traits, stay away,” he said.

Lee added that one should also pick the right time to end a relationship.

“You should first check if your partner has been depressed in the past two weeks before telling him or her you want to break up,” he said. “For example, you don’t want to tell someone that you want to break up with him or her right after he or she has just been laid off.”

Yao provided some other “breakup tips.”

“You should give a solid, diplomatic reason for the breakup, so that he or she may be sad but convinced it’s over,” Yao said. “When you try to break up, don’t talk to your partner over a few beers or glasses of wine, because he or she may lose control under the influence of alcohol.”

She said that before breaking up with someone, “you should let your friends know where you’re going and who you’re meeting.”

Lai said that if a partner became violent, “always try to seek help from the police.”

“If you’re living together, the court can issue a restraining order even if you’re not married,” Lai said.
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