"Boink, boink, Puni, Puni. Have one, Puni, Puni. It's a meeting gift, inside your mouth, Puni, Puni. QQ (chewy chewy) and sweet, sweet. Bactobacillus, various flavors. I love you, you love me, Puni, Puni, Pinky."
You may ask yourself: "What's a song about candy featuring primate-like-Teletubby creatures on helium got to do with a soccer column?"
The answer: That's what armchair World Cup fans are putting up with when advertisements for drug companies, brandy and snacks pop up during games.
Contrary to previous reports saying ads would not be broadcast on local TV during Cup matches in the knockout stages, they have not received a red card.
Though the frequency of ads during games has thankfully lessened, there is no end in sight to them, according to a source at Era TV.
The TV company holds exclusive rights to broadcast the World Cup, as it did in 2002. Games are being shown on three of the station's channels -- MUCH (38), Azio (37) and Era News (50).
The Era source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, admitted there had been widespread criticism of the company for broadcasting ads while the games are being played.
But, the source added, this was necessary to defray the NT$200 million (US$6.1 million) cost of buying exclusive rights to the Cup.
"Everyone knows that Taiwan is a football desert and it's only the World Cup that people will watch. We really should be applauded for showing these games. Nobody else is," the source said.
Though big matches in the evening have been attracting respectable viewing figures of over 1 million people (an A.C. Nielson rating of 3.2), games in the early morning have a rating of around 0.3.
The source said there was no other way of deriving revenue from broadcasting the soccer as the government has regulations against showing logos during games.
No other TV company bid for the rights to the World Cup and if Era had not done so there would be no local coverage at all, the source said.
And, because games at South Africa's World Cup in 2010 will likely be broadcast during prime time, it may not be economically feasible for Era to bid next time.
"Then people will be crying and thinking this year is not so bad. We are not making big money on this," the source said.
But there are ways around the ads. The Taipei Times suggests you switch between channels (37 and 38) when the ads play; pay for satellite; or go to a pub with satellite transmission. Otherwise, for the sake of sanity, it's best to embrace the company boss selling drugs and the colorful cartoons promoting candy.
"Puni! Puni! Give it to me."
On the pitch, meanwhile, Asia's great white hope was bounced out of the World Cup by an injury-time penalty from a substitute.
The 1-0 loss to Italy was heartbreaking for the Aussies, but the newest Asian Football Confederation (AFC) team can leave Germany with its pride intact after a great showing at only its second World Cup.
Based on its Cup exploits, the Socceroos are the AFC's top team and will add a much-needed competitive element to the continent's soccer.
Football Federation Australia chief executive John O'Neill was quoted by the Asian Football Business Review as saying: "When we went into Asia on Jan. 1, we had a FIFA ranking, but not an Asian one.
"That's why we have gone into [next year's] Asian Cup qualifiers as an unseeded team. But this result should mean we will be ranked one or two in whatever [future World Cup] pool we end up in."
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