Mon, Nov 23, 2015 - Page 11 News List

Adoption is a lifetime commitment
收養是一輩子的承諾

Su Shih-jung, third right, and his family pose with Chen I-kuang, fourth left, and his family on Nov. 14 in Tainan.
蘇士榮(右三)一家與陳怡光(左四)一家一起合影留念。攝於十一月十四日,台南。

Photo: Hung Jui-chin, Taipei Times
照片:自由時報記者洪瑞琴

Su Shih-jung and his wife, Hsieh Pao-chuan, have been raising an developmentally delayed child with love. “If he were our child by birth, we would have no choice but to go on and raise him,” they say, “so how could we give up on him just because he is adopted?”

They say they had pondered over this question early on, but deep inside they knew clearly, “Children are not objects, so how can you just reject and replace them? It makes no difference whether they are your biological children or not.” Since the couple had thought this through and lived with the child for a while, it would have been even more difficult for them to part with him.

Su and Hsieh have been married for 15 years, during which time they saw the best doctors of Chinese and Western medicine that they could find in order to bear a child. They tried alternative medicine, artificial insemination, injections and so on, which were physically and mentally unbearable. They not only had to pay the medical expenses, but also had to experience the disappointment of failure after being hopeful. They say that those who have not experienced the same thing find it hard to understand their disappointment and helplessness.

After discussing adoption, reaching a consensus, going through the adoption procedures and obtaining approval, they finally adopted En-en, only to find that this child had an intellectual development disorder. However, as far as they were concerned, “adoption is a commitment made for a lifetime.” Even though this child’s language and movement development is slower than average kids — he did not begin learning to walk until one and a half years old and still cannot say “daddy” and “mommy” — the couple give him their complete love and acceptance. They patiently accompany him at his early-childhood intervention sessions and use music, language and occupational therapies and other resources to help him develop and grow.

TODAY’S WORDS
今日單字

1. commitment n.

承諾 (cheng2 nuo4)

例: We want to hire people who can bring quality, efficiency and commitment to this team.

(我們希望招募能為團隊帶來品質、效率及承諾的人才。)

2. firmly adv.

堅定 (jian1 ding4)

例: “I want to go to sleep,” he said firmly.

(「我想要睡覺了。」他堅定地說著。)

3. diversity n.

多元 (duo1 yuan2)

例: This nation embraces diversity, equality and democracy.

(這個國家鼓勵多元、平等與民主。)


En-en, now in his final year at kindergarten, makes progress day by day, and every day brings a new surprise for the couple. Although there is still a long way to go in the future, they say firmly, “As long as we stand by the love and commitment we made, we can change everything.”

In another family, Chen I-kuang and his Polish wife Dorota Chen-Wernik already had a son and a daughter, but to bring more diversity and love into the family they adopted Ling-ling, a three-year-old girl.

Chen says that in the first few months of the trial adoption period Ling-ling exhibited some anxiety because of the new environment and new family members. Thankfully the family has a policy that says, “If something bothers you, let’s talk about it,” which is a fairly democratic way of running a household. Thanks to the love and care of Chen’s wife and two children, Ling-ling finally recognized her importance in the new family and in the hearts of her new parents.

Now Ling-ling loves to sing and dance with her sister and play Lego with her brother. Chen and Dorota say that the pure love among the family members is their truest happiness.

(Liberty Times, translated by Ethan Zhan)

蘇士榮、謝保釧夫婦以愛心陪伴發展遲緩的孩子成長。「若是自己親生的,沒辦法仍是得養;若是收養的,難道就要放棄了嗎?」

他們說自己曾思索過這問題,但是內心很清楚知道「孩子不是物品,怎能不想要就換?無關乎是否有親生血緣關係。」想通了這道理,而且已經和小孩相處了一段時間,更是不捨這份親情。

蘇謝結婚十五年,為了求子尋遍中西名醫、民間偏方,也試了人工生殖、打針等方式,身心飽受煎熬。不僅需承擔有形的醫療費用,更需面對滿懷期待爾後卻失敗的心情落差。他們說,非親身體驗者難以體會其中的失落與無奈。

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