Seconds from cracking
Dear Johnny,
The longer I stay in Taiwan, the more I feel like I’m living in 1984 (the novel, not the year).
It first started a few years ago with the “Two Minutes’ Hate” — the mindless vitriol of the red-shirted anti-Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) protesters. Later it was the bald-faced rewriting of history — the KMT are the defenders of clean government, don’t you know, and the PRC is, and has always been, our greatest friend and savior, and don’t you forget it.
Recently it has been getting worse. First was the election of our very own Big Brother (and surely it is no coincidence that you refer to him as Shuaige-in-Chief). Then came a string of doublethink that has my brain threatening to explode.
President Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) claims, with a straight face, to be the president of the Republic of China, whose territory includes Mongolia and Tibet. Entering the World Health Assembly under the name “Chinese Taipei”? A “victory.” Agreeing to tightly integrate your economy with a country that reserves the right to blow us out of the water? A “win-win” situation. I look around, but I seem to be the only one laughing.
It goes on. When the Japanese ambassador states that Taiwan’s status is undecided — equivalent to saying “the sky is blue” — the KMT is up in arms. Huh? What have we been arguing about for the last 50 years if not the status of Taiwan?
But the kicker came this week when The Economist — The Economist! — suggested that everything is bright and sunny in the new Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. I’m beginning to question my sanity. Honestly, the rat cage has been strapped to my face and I’m seconds from cracking.
I picture myself at some unspecified time in the future, sitting in a dirty little beef noodle shop, downing shots of cheap Victory Rice Wine. The wall sports the obligatory poster of a beatifically smiling Chairman Ma, hair blacker than ever, teeth whiter than ever, shorts shorter than ever. TVBS blares in the background about the ongoing Chen trial. Pearly White Terror agents hunch over their drinks in a dark corner.
“Yes,” I will say to myself, “the China Post [May 6, page 8] was right: Taipei residents are not Taiwanese because they live in Directly Administered Municipalities of the ROC. They may be located on Taiwan, but they are not “under” Taiwan. It all makes sense. Black is white. Freedom is slavery. And yes, I love Big Brother Ma.”
TEACHER BRIAN
Johnny replies: Your letter got me thinking. If your garden variety independence supporter, after having a tryst with his equivalent of Julia, gets arrested and is sent to Room 101 in the Ministry of Love (oh, how Taiwanese!), what will, for him, be the worst thing in the world?
The more I think about this question, the more terrified I am to find out the answer.
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