Few people in the world have more sensitive jobs than economic policy makers. Markets rise and fall by their words. Investors eat, sleep and breathe their every syllable.
Living standards change with their deeds and actions.
PHOTO: AFP
All of which explains why financial bigwigs need to watch what they say, even in jest. Japan this week saw many a verbal faux pas -- some that moved markets, some that didn't. In each case, however, investors could be excused for wondering what gives in the world's second-biggest economy.
With apologies to David Letterman, here's a list of the top-10 silly things said by Japan's economic policy makers this week. Drum roll, please.
The Top 10 silly things said about Japan's economy:
10. "I felt really let down," said Finance Minister Masajuro Shiokawa when asked how he felt about the Nikkei 225 stock average falling below 11,000 for the first time in 17 years. "We can't think of any immediate measures to support stock prices, which irritates me," he offered yesterday. (Same with investors, mate. You know, the people who thought you guys were finally getting serious about fixing the economy. They too may be let down and irritated.)
9. "We shouldn't focus only on issues right in front of us." Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi about the Nikkei dwindling to its lowest since 1984. (You mean swooning stocks, deflation, recession, those kinds of things? We thought you were elected to do just that: tackle the big problems right under your nose.)
8. "The country won't be able to meet the 1.7 percent growth target this fiscal year,'' opined Taro Aso, the Liberal Democratic Party's chief policy maker. (Thanks for the news flash; tell us something we don't know!!!!!)
7. "Though some people argue altering the tax system won't support stocks, I think they're wrong.'' Hideyuki Aizawa, head of Japan's ruling-party's tax panel, of plans to trim capital gains taxes on stocks. (What's the point of cutting capital gains taxes when there's no capital gains to be had?)
6. "I don't think stock movements will devastate financial institutions' business base," said Bank of Japan Governor Masaru Hayami, when asked whether sliding stocks would hurt banks. (Nice try, Hayami. But as a banker, the central one, you know full well the stock market's plunge is slamming banks' balance sheets. Let's at least hope you do.)
5. "The central bank will ponder its next move flexibly if further monetary relaxation measures become necessary," said BOJ Executive Director Minoru Masubuchi. (Maybe something got lost in the translation, but it could mean BOJ folks will be doing a whole lot of stretching and bending before plopping down on a beach chair to, well, ponder. Then again, if Japan's monetary policy were any more relaxed, it would be dead.)
4. "By doubling the number of inspectors, we'll be able to conduct more audits." Takashi Fujiwara, a Financial Services Agency deputy director general, on plans to investigate banks more actively. (It's Japan's only growth industry -- counting loans, and bad ones at that.)
3. "I don't think the country can pay back its ?666 trillion [US$5.6 trillion] debt,'' said Heizo Takenaka, Japan's minister for economic and fiscal policy. ``In the past, the governments of France after the Napoleonic War and England after World War II amassed extraordinary debt which they never paid back." (Maybe he should get his nose out of the history books and start reading some economic texts. Still, might be worth tapping him for a loan.)
2. "No that's not it, it's the US," said Shoji Mori, commissioner of the Financial Services Agency, when asked whether concerns about Japan's banking system were hurting stocks. (Sure, the US is to blame for the 75 percent loss the Nikkei has experienced since 1989.
Nope, the US didn't help the global economy one bit in 1997, 1999, or 2000 for that matter. Gotta be the reason.)
1. "I don't understand why [the Nikkei is] falling so much.'' Shiokawa again. ``The only thing I can do is believe that something that falls will eventually start rising.'' (Sir Isaac Newton might turn in his grave if he heard that mangling of his theory of gravity.)
Honorable mention, as it wasn't said by a Japanese official: ``CORRECTION: DJIA CLOSE 10,090.90, NOT 100,090.90,'' reported a major Japanese news organization. (What's an extra zero between friends. But, hey, if that was true, just think how high the Nikkei might be, Mori-san!)
ROLLER-COASTER RIDE: More than five earthquakes ranging from magnitude 4.4 to 5.5 on the Richter scale shook eastern Taiwan in rapid succession yesterday afternoon Back-to-back weather fronts are forecast to hit Taiwan this week, resulting in rain across the nation in the coming days, the Central Weather Administration said yesterday, as it also warned residents in mountainous regions to be wary of landslides and rockfalls. As the first front approached, sporadic rainfall began in central and northern parts of Taiwan yesterday, the agency said, adding that rain is forecast to intensify in those regions today, while brief showers would also affect other parts of the nation. A second weather system is forecast to arrive on Thursday, bringing additional rain to the whole nation until Sunday, it
LANDSLIDES POSSIBLE: The agency advised the public to avoid visiting mountainous regions due to more expected aftershocks and rainfall from a series of weather fronts A series of earthquakes over the past few days were likely aftershocks of the April 3 earthquake in Hualien County, with further aftershocks to be expected for up to a year, the Central Weather Administration (CWA) said yesterday. Based on the nation’s experience after the quake on Sept. 21, 1999, more aftershocks are possible over the next six months to a year, the agency said. A total of 103 earthquakes of magnitude 4 on the local magnitude scale or higher hit Hualien County from 5:08pm on Monday to 10:27am yesterday, with 27 of them exceeding magnitude 5. They included two, of magnitude
CONDITIONAL: The PRC imposes secret requirements that the funding it provides cannot be spent in states with diplomatic relations with Taiwan, Emma Reilly said China has been bribing UN officials to obtain “special benefits” and to block funding from countries that have diplomatic ties with Taiwan, a former UN employee told the British House of Commons on Tuesday. At a House of Commons Foreign Affairs Committee hearing into “international relations within the multilateral system,” former Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) employee Emma Reilly said in a written statement that “Beijing paid bribes to the two successive Presidents of the [UN] General Assembly” during the two-year negotiation of the Sustainable Development Goals. Another way China exercises influence within the UN Secretariat is
Taiwan’s first drag queen to compete on the internationally acclaimed RuPaul’s Drag Race, Nymphia Wind (妮妃雅), was on Friday crowned the “Next Drag Superstar.” Dressed in a sparkling banana dress, Nymphia Wind swept onto the stage for the final, and stole the show. “Taiwan this is for you,” she said right after show host RuPaul announced her as the winner. “To those who feel like they don’t belong, just remember to live fearlessly and to live their truth,” she said on stage. One of the frontrunners for the past 15 episodes, the 28-year-old breezed through to the final after weeks of showcasing her unique