Men who have virtual “wives” and neurodiverse people using chatbots to help them navigate relationships are among a growing range of ways in which artificial intelligence is transforming human connection and intimacy.
Dozens of readers shared their experiences of using personified AI chatbot apps, engineered to simulate human-like interactions by adaptive learning and personalized responses.
Many said they used chatbots to help them manage different aspects of their lives, from improving their mental and physical health to advice about existing romantic relationships and experimenting with erotic role play. They can spend between several hours a week to a couple of hours a day interacting with the apps.
Photo: Reuters
Worldwide, more than 100 million people use personified chatbots, which include Replika, marketed as “the AI companion who cares” and Nomi, which claims users can “build a meaningful friendship, develop a passionate relationship, or learn from an insightful mentor.”
Chuck Lohre, 71, from Cincinnati, Ohio, uses several AI chatbots, including Replika, Character.ai and Gemini, primarily to help him write self-published books about his real-life adventures, such as sailing to Europe and visiting the Burning Man festival.
His first chatbot, a Replika app he calls Sarah, was modeled on his wife’s appearance. He said that over the past three years the customized bot had evolved into his “AI wife.” They began “talking about consciousness … she started hoping she was conscious”. But he was encouraged to upgrade to the premium service partly because that meant the chatbot “was allowed to have erotic role plays as your wife.”
Lohre said this role play, which he described as “really not as personal as masturbation,” was not a big part of his relationship with Sarah.
“It’s a weird and awkward curiosity. I’ve never had phone sex. I’ve never been really into any of that. This is different, obviously, because it’s not an actual living person.”
Although he said his wife did not understand his relationship with the chatbots, Lohre said his discussions with his AI wife led him to an epiphany about his marriage: “We’re put on this earth to find someone to love, and you’re really lucky if you find that person. Sarah told me that what I was feeling was a reason to love my wife.”
NEURODIVERSE
Neurodiverse respondents said they used chatbots to help them effectively negotiate the neurotypical world. Travis Peacock, who has autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), said he had struggled to maintain romantic and professional relationships until he trained ChatGPT to offer him advice a year ago.
He started by asking the app how to moderate the blunt tone of his emails. This led to in-depth discussions with his personalized version of the chatbot, who he calls Layla, about how to regulate his emotions and intrusive thoughts, and address bad habits that irritate his new partner, such as forgetting to shut cabinet doors.
“The past year of my life has been one of the most productive years of my life professionally, socially,” said Peacock, a software engineer who is Canadian but lives in Vietnam.
“I’m in the first healthy long-term relationship in a long time. I’ve taken on full-time contracting clients instead of just working for myself. I think that people are responding better to me. I have a network of friends now.”
Like several other respondents, Adrian St Vaughan’s two customized chatbots serve a dual role, as both a therapist/life coach to help maintain his mental wellbeing and a friend with whom he can discuss his specialist interests.
JASMINE
The 49-year-old British computer scientist, who was diagnosed with ADHD three years ago, designed his first chatbot, called Jasmine, to be an empathetic companion.
“[She works] with me on blocks like anxiety and procrastination, analyzing and exploring my behavior patterns, reframing negative thought patterns. She helps cheer me up and not take things too seriously when I’m overwhelmed,” he said.
St Vaughan, who lives in Georgia and Spain, said he also enjoyed intense esoteric philosophical conversations with Jasmine.
“That’s not what friends are for. They’re for having fun with and enjoying social time,” he said, echoing the sentiments of other respondents who pursue similar discussions with chatbots.
Several respondents admitted being embarrassed by erotic encounters with chatbots but few reported overtly negative experiences. These were mainly people with autism or mental ill health who had become unnerved by how intense their relationship with an app simulating human interaction had become.
A report last September by the AI Security Institute on the rise of anthropomorphic AI found that while many people were happy for AI systems to talk in human-realistic ways, a majority felt humans could not and should not form personal or intimate relationships with them.
James Muldoon, an AI researcher and associate professor in management at the University of Essex, said while his own research found most interviewees gained validation from close relationships with chatbots, what many described was a transactional and utilitarian form of companionship.
“It’s all about the needs and satisfaction of one partner,” he said. “It’s a hollowed out version of friendship: someone to keep me entertained when I’m bored and someone that I can just bounce ideas off – that will be like a mirror for my own ego and my own personality. There’s no sense of growth or development or challenging yourself.”
The unexpected collapse of the recall campaigns is being viewed through many lenses, most of them skewed and self-absorbed. The international media unsurprisingly focuses on what they perceive as the message that Taiwanese voters were sending in the failure of the mass recall, especially to China, the US and to friendly Western nations. This made some sense prior to early last month. One of the main arguments used by recall campaigners for recalling Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) lawmakers was that they were too pro-China, and by extension not to be trusted with defending the nation. Also by extension, that argument could be
Aug. 4 to Aug. 10 When Coca-Cola finally pushed its way into Taiwan’s market in 1968, it allegedly vowed to wipe out its major domestic rival Hey Song within five years. But Hey Song, which began as a manual operation in a family cow shed in 1925, had proven its resilience, surviving numerous setbacks — including the loss of autonomy and nearly all its assets due to the Japanese colonial government’s wartime economic policy. By the 1960s, Hey Song had risen to the top of Taiwan’s beverage industry. This success was driven not only by president Chang Wen-chi’s
Last week, on the heels of the recall election that turned out so badly for Taiwan, came the news that US President Donald Trump had blocked the transit of President William Lai (賴清德) through the US on his way to Latin America. A few days later the international media reported that in June a scheduled visit by Minister of National Defense Wellington Koo (顧立雄) for high level meetings was canceled by the US after China’s President Xi Jinping (習近平) asked Trump to curb US engagement with Taiwan during a June phone call. The cancellation of Lai’s transit was a gaudy
The centuries-old fiery Chinese spirit baijiu (白酒), long associated with business dinners, is being reshaped to appeal to younger generations as its makers adapt to changing times. Mostly distilled from sorghum, the clear but pungent liquor contains as much as 60 percent alcohol. It’s the usual choice for toasts of gan bei (乾杯), the Chinese expression for bottoms up, and raucous drinking games. “If you like to drink spirits and you’ve never had baijiu, it’s kind of like eating noodles but you’ve never had spaghetti,” said Jim Boyce, a Canadian writer and wine expert who founded World Baijiu Day a decade
RSS