Let me hate on the Golden Melody Awards for a moment. The 25th edition of “Taiwan’s Grammys” took place last weekend in Taipei, as inbred as ever and in spite of the fact that nothing of note happened in Mandarin pop music last year. The largest number of awards — three — went to Jonathan Lee (李宗盛), who should probably be in the lifetime awards category by now. He is the same age, 58, as Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson (if he was still alive). As in America, the industry is grasping at straws. The new “king of Chinese pop” is Singaporean, JJ Lin (林俊傑), and the “queen” is Malaysian, Penny Tai (戴佩妮). They won awards for best male and female Mandarin singers and do well for regional market share. Best album went to Chang Chen-yue (張震嶽), who won perhaps because he copied what A-mei did five years ago and put out an album using his aboriginal name, Aayal Komod. Jay Chou (周杰倫) was conspicuously absent, as it seems he had the good sense to abstain from music and pursue his film career. At least someone realizes that Mando-pop is a zombie-fied industry.
The most galling surprise of the night was the Best Band award, which went to a group of college students nobody has ever heard of. This band openly claims to idolize Mayday (五月天), and one of the other nominees told me, “Even in music circles, nobody knows them. Our supposition is that record companies need a new pop rock band, since Mayday is getting old. Maybe they want to catch them when they are still young for better control.”
The group, incidentally, is called Mixer (麋先生). They formed less than two years ago and put out their first album last summer through Cheer Music, a company run by a producer jettisoned from one of the crumbling castles of Mando-pop, Rock Records.
photo: TT
Even the Chinese-language media was stunned by Mixer’s award. The China Times called it a “big surprise.” NowNews quoted band members as saying, “How is this possible?” and further reported that lead singer Sheng Hao (聖皓) thought he misheard the award announcement and didn’t believe it until he saw his bandmates walking up to the stage.
The other nominees for Best Band were Chthonic, Fire EX, Chairmen, Tizzy Bac, Sodagreen and Funky Brothers. One can only imagine how the jury meeting must have gone:
There’s the metal band, Chthonic. They apparently have fans in Europe.
Photo courtesy of Go Chic
“But not in Singapore. We gave them three awards last year, and a lot of good that did us. Next?”
The punk band Fire E.X. Big festival crowds. Great stage show. They’ve got a song very popular with the Sunflower movement.”
“Fat chance. They’re managed by The Wall, right?”
Photo courtesy of Go Chic
The Chairmen (董事長) have a new album.
“Not in Taiwanese I hope. But glad to hear they’re still around.”
Tizzy Bac?
“Too indie. Their singer is about to go solo anyway. We can give her something next year.”
A new band Funky Brothers. They managed to crowdsource money to produce their album and are pretty popular.
“Hahahaha. Nice one.”
Sodagreen?
“Their last album sucks, and besides, they’ve won plenty. Remember, we need to ration these awards, otherwise we’ll look like suckers.”
Remix?
“Who the hell is Mixer! A bunch of Mayday wannabes? Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea….”
Then in 30 seconds — just like Chang Ching-Chung (張慶忠) moved the cross strait services trade agreement to the legislature’s floor for a vote — Remix was declared the winner. It is hard to imagine it happening any other way.
GO CHIC AT GLASTONBURY
As for real bands, Go Chic became the first Taiwanese band to ever play Glastonbury, one of the world’s most famous music festivals and the UK’s largest. Guitarist and beats programmer Sonia Lai (賴思勻), contacted in the UK by e-mail, said, “We were able to perform at Glastonbury this time because when one of the organizers of Glastonbury’s Silver Hayes area, Malcolm Haynes, visited Taiwan, our music was luckily recommended to him. Maybe he liked it, and then unbelievably he invited us to go perform.”
“La Pussy Parlure Nouveau was the stage we performed on. It is part of Glastonbury’s electronic village in the Silver Hayes area. There was actually quite a big crowd, but I’m not really sure of the precise number. Maybe 300 people?”
“The crowd reaction was awesome. For the first few songs at the beginning, they were just kind of checking us out, as we were a completely new face to them. But later everyone got more and more into it and more people started dancing. We performed very late at night and everyone was probably drunk. The vibe was really good, and actually we were pretty drunk too.”
What did Go Chic think about the festival?
“Glastonbury is really enormous. On the first day, since we didn’t have to perform, we just walked all over. We walked to Sangri-La (one of the more distant villages) and looked at everything — the installations, stages, people, music. The only word I can use to describe it is ‘ridiculous.’ It was truly eye opening … Glastonbury made me go ‘Wow!’ repeatedly.”
HO-HAI-YAN
Taiwan’s biggest music festival, at least attendance-wise, begins next week. The Ho-Hai-Yan Gongliao Rock Festival (貢寮國際海洋音樂), a music event at New Taipei City’s (新北市) Fulong Beach (福隆海灘), claims as many as 300,000 people over the five-day event. There are a lot of great things going for it. It’s at the beach. It’s free. There is more squid on a stick that you can possibly eat. Did we mention it’s at the beach and it’s free?
Ho-Hai-Yan hosts Taiwan’s Indie Rock Awards, a competition that is occasionally meaningful, though only a small portion of the attendees seem to care. Most of the punters are more intent on three-for-a-hundred beer deals and girls in bikinis, preferring to dig fox holes in the sand and clog up the beach in a unique form of mass lounging. The gigantic stage and Mando-pop headliners are just a bonus. Tonight’s headliner is Cheer Chen (陳綺貞), playing at 9:30pm. Tomorrow the indie rock awards nominees play during the day, with hipster phenom Crowd Lu (盧廣仲) capping off the night. Sunday is the international day, with Elliot the Bull from Australia, Her Bright Skies from Sweden, Indian Ocean from India, Madagascar singer Kilema, Your Favorite Enemies from Canada and pop music diva Chang Hui-mei (張惠妹), also known as A-mei. There will be fireworks every night.
■ Ho-hai-yan Music Festival runs Wednesday to July 13 at Gongliao Fulong Beach (福隆海水浴場), 40 Fulong St, Gongliao Dist, New Taipei City (新北市貢寮區福隆里福隆街40號). Entry is free. For info, see www.2014hohaiyan.tw.
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