The problem with The Hottie and the Nottie is - wait, let me start again. The most crippling of the many problems afflicting The Hottie and the Nottie is the radical disconnect between the title and our perception of the movie's star. I'm not sure on what planet Paris Hilton is considered "hot" - one that involves hazmat suits and tongs, possibly - but it hasn't been Earth for some time.
This may not be fair. For all I know, Hilton is in reality a demure young thing who spends her spare time contemplating String Theory while knitting finger warmers for the lepers of Molokai. Her indelible public persona, however, is that of a - what's the word? Oh, yes: skank. A rich, brainless, clueless skank.
Well, we need our entitled fools. Always have. From Marie Antoinette to the brats on MTV's My Super Sweet 16, they serve a social function by reassuring the plebes that money can't buy intelligence or class. Or, in this case, acting ability. The Hottie and the Nottie - the title makes it sound like a picture book for remedial readers - is a limp low-budget romantic comedy that more or less remakes There's Something About Mary with Hilton in the Cameron Diaz role. Suddenly Diaz is looking like Judi Dench in comparison.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF FOX
Joel David Moore, a likable beanpole usually relegated to nerd character parts, plays the hero, Nate Cooper, who has never gotten over his grade-school crush on little Cristabel Abbott and decides on a whim to drive cross-country and woo her full-time. Cristabel is grown up now and played by Hilton (who also executive produced), and the nonsensical gag is that she's so beauteous men line up on her Santa Monica jogging route with "Marry Me" signs.
Cristabel is still best friends with June Phigg (Christine Lakin), aka "the Nottie." Hairy, clumsy, plagued with sores and green teeth, June's the first line of defense against anyone hoping to score with Cristabel. Nate plots to clean her up and set her up, only to wonder if he's falling for the newly refurbished June himself.
As written by TV scribe Heidi Ferrer and directed by Tom Putnam on a budget lower than Hilton's per diem, The Hottie and the Nottie is more harmless than hateful. You've seen dozens of movies like this on cable in the wee hours, and most of them were made during the Reagan administration. The tone wobbles between gross-out comedy (June's diseased toenail flies off into someone's mouth) and overwritten rom-com earnestness. The lighting is dimmer than the characters.
Since Moore and Lakin are professionals, they're able to give Nate and June's sub-screwball dialogue a bit of snap even when the momentum slows to a crawl. As Nate's fat-slob best friend, The Greg Wilson (that's how he's billed) is supposed to be crassly charming and manages the first half of the equation.
Then there's Hilton. She delivers her lines in an unmodulated near-whisper and keeps her head lowered, gazing up at Nate as if she'd learned Acting Position Number One and then dropped the class. The film poses her in a succession of bikinis, mini-tops, and short shorts, none of which give her the presence necessary to actually hold the screen. Her head seems too small for her body and stuck on at an odd angle. She resembles nothing so much as a tiny blond velociraptor.
That's cruel, I know, but one's mind wanders when a movie's evaporating up there on the screen. More crucially, there's not a whit of mystery to Hilton, as there must be for any proper movie star. How can there be mystery when she's everywhere in our culture, from reality shows to Internet sex videos to tabloid Web sites to perfumes and other personal brand extensions? With all her wealth and meaningless celebritude, Hilton is incapable of doing the one thing most of us desperately wish she would do: Go away.
April 28 to May 4 During the Japanese colonial era, a city’s “first” high school typically served Japanese students, while Taiwanese attended the “second” high school. Only in Taichung was this reversed. That’s because when Taichung First High School opened its doors on May 1, 1915 to serve Taiwanese students who were previously barred from secondary education, it was the only high school in town. Former principal Hideo Azukisawa threatened to quit when the government in 1922 attempted to transfer the “first” designation to a new local high school for Japanese students, leading to this unusual situation. Prior to the Taichung First
Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Chairman Eric Chu (朱立倫) hatched a bold plan to charge forward and seize the initiative when he held a protest in front of the Taipei City Prosecutors’ Office. Though risky, because illegal, its success would help tackle at least six problems facing both himself and the KMT. What he did not see coming was Taipei Mayor Chiang Wan-an (將萬安) tripping him up out of the gate. In spite of Chu being the most consequential and successful KMT chairman since the early 2010s — arguably saving the party from financial ruin and restoring its electoral viability —
The Ministry of Education last month proposed a nationwide ban on mobile devices in schools, aiming to curb concerns over student phone addiction. Under the revised regulation, which will take effect in August, teachers and schools will be required to collect mobile devices — including phones, laptops and wearables devices — for safekeeping during school hours, unless they are being used for educational purposes. For Chang Fong-ching (張鳳琴), the ban will have a positive impact. “It’s a good move,” says the professor in the department of
Toward the outside edge of Taichung City, in Wufeng District (霧峰去), sits a sprawling collection of single-story buildings with tiled roofs belonging to the Wufeng Lin (霧峰林家) family, who rose to prominence through success in military, commercial, and artistic endeavors in the 19th century. Most of these buildings have brick walls and tiled roofs in the traditional reddish-brown color, but in the middle is one incongruous property with bright white walls and a black tiled roof: Yipu Garden (頤圃). Purists may scoff at the Japanese-style exterior and its radical departure from the Fujianese architectural style of the surrounding buildings. However, the property
RSS