“Never give up” is not necessarily the best advice when seeking a partner as you could end up breaking the law, the Modern Women's Foundation said yesterday.
“When you think you've found the love of your life, of course you should go ahead and ask him or her out on a date, but remember to know when to stop,” foundation executive director Yao Shu-wen (姚淑文) told a press conference to celebrate the fourth anniversary of the enactment of the Sexual Harassment Prevention Act (性騷擾防治法).
“If you're too persistent, you may scare the person away, and you may be in violation of the act,” Yao said.
She said that chasing a man or woman by continuously calling, following, or waiting outside his or her home or office after being rejected could constitute a violation of the law.
While “never give up” may not be an effective relationship strategy, the results of a survey conducted by the foundation last month on 1,000 people across the country showed that as many as 77 percent of respondents thought they would eventually succeed if they followed this tactic.
About 3 percent of respondents said they would not give up for whatever reason — even if they discovered the person already had a partner, was repeatedly rejected, or was the subject of a lawsuit.
Although a majority of respondents subscribe to the idea of never giving up, surprisingly large numbers — nearly 70 percent of female respondents and 43 percent of males — said they had been victims of overly persistent suitors.
Among the women, 42 percent said they felt their personal security was at risk when they were chased by overly persistent suitors.
“Aside from following their 'targets' around, some people even try to show their love by hurting themselves,” Yao said.
Tom Yang (楊聰財), a psychiatrist at Cardinal Tien Hospital, gave the example of a 25-year-old man who took out all his teeth and mailed them, along with a love note, to a woman that he had a crush on to show his love for her would last forever.
The man seems to have taken to heart the Chinese idiom mo chi nan wang (沒齒難忘), which literally means that something is so unforgettable that one would still remember even when they are so old their teeth have all fallen out.
“The man's strategy did not win him the girl's heart — it only scared her away,” Yang said. “It also scared the man's parents, who brought him to see me afterwards.”
Yao said victims of sexual harassment should make their rejection clear, and if the harassment did not stop, they should start gathering evidence to report to the police.
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