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The Vinyl Word

LTJ Bukem welcomes hump day at Luxy. PHOTO COURTESY OF LUXY

Chicago's DJ Rees Urban spanked the Vinyl Word last week, unhappy about this column's coverage of his protege Heavy Grinder, who played two weeks ago at Champagne Thr3e.

"You are obviously uneducated," growled Urban in an e-mail. "You should maybe do your homework." Urban, who releases records with titles such as H.O.E, Bang That Ass, and All You Bitches, says that the description of Grinder as a "glamour model DJ bird gimmick" was "unfair."

On Heavy Grinder's Web site and myspace.com page, much is made of HG's previous work as a model, and her press photos are soft-focus flesh shots, the stuff of men's magazines the world over. And as for the name Heavy Grinder itself, what else are we to think? Is she a sausage maker?

Sex as an image certainly sells. The whole reputation that HG — or her management — has constructed is designed around schoolboy humour and HG's prettiness. The market this image is aimed at is the beered-up lad brigade These are young guys are ready to spend money on seeing pretty girls at a set of decks. Fair play, HG taps into this, as does Miss Tuesdae and Portia Surreal, both of whom have recently graced these shores, and they make damn good money off it.

The VW carried out a brief poll on Tuesday night at LTJ Bukem's gig at Luxy and a party at DP Fashion Bar to see what kind of public reaction these images receive. Very few people could name any of six unmarked photos of female DJs Rap, Lisa Lashes, Mea, Miss Tuesdae, Portia Surreal or HG herself. "That's Portia Surreal," said Rosie Cook, a student from the UK. "I saw her set and it was a bit disappointing. I'd read about her but it wasn't that good and even she looked bored. And," she said pointing to Miss Tuesdae, "I think she played at MoS recently. But I don't know her name."

"That one. That one. That one," said a reveler at an after party pointing at Portia Surreal's ample accoutrements. It wasn't clear he'd completely understood the question.

Does this mean that Heavy Grinder is not actually any good at what she does? Not at all. Some of HG's sets are more than competent, she has some notable friends on myspace.com (though that's not a precise barometer of popularity), and she's recently teamed up with house legend Su Su Bobien for a forthcoming track. But regardless of how good she is, she can't on the one hand use a gimmicky image for the lads to bring in the bucks, and then whine that she's not treated like a "serious artist" by the press. Still, HG, before the moaning, spare a thought for poor Britney Spears and the flak she cops from the media. And she's not even pretty anymore.
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