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Johnny Neihu's Mailbag

Flags of convenience

Dear Johnny,

I have a question and thought maybe you could help. What are they going to do with all the flags that line the streets at the end of the month? I think it would be a total waste to throw them out.

Here are a couple of ideas; maybe you have some as well.

1. What if they were given to overseas students as gifts? Head to Taida, Shida or any other of the "das" and give them away at the end of the semester: "Congratulations on the completion of your course. We hope you enjoyed your stay. Here is your free flag. Please come again soon."

2. What if they sold them for NT$50 at the airport? Why sell 'em, you ask? Why not just give them away? Come on, it's an airport -- nothing is free.

What do you think?

S. Pangborn

Johnny replies: I'm bursting with ideas. Cut out all the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) white-sun, blue-sky squares and use them to drape the coffins waiting for the political careers of all the downsized-and-out legislators.

Then, take the rest of the red stuff and make an AIDS-style quilt with each portion bearing the name of pan-blue legislators who survive the cut -- these guys look best in red, don't you think?

Otherwise, sell them to Burmese freedom fighters as proxies for Myanmar's flag. Hard to tell the difference when they're on fire.

EIU: Friends of the Dragon

Dear Johnny,

Interested in the Taiwan piece in the latest Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) subscription-only newsletter for foreign business types involved with China? It contains references to the "government" in China versus a couple of timid mentions of the "Taiwan authorities." Hu Jintao (胡錦濤) is namechecked as "China's president," but Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) is introduced as "Taiwan's pro-independence leader" and his successor is "the next Taiwan leader."

It's enough to make you wonder if the EIU now outsources its Taiwan coverage to Xinhua. In fact, that seems a distinct possibility considering that they already cooperate with Xinhua for production and private distribution of a Chinese-language business newsletter.

Also in the article: gratuitous reference to "Mr Chen, China's gadfly," but none so far as I can see to "Mr Hu, unelected apparatchik at the wobbling apex of China's politico-military kleptocracy."

And while Hu is described as "fairly conciliatory" and his government seen as "aiming merely at a stabilization of the status quo that prevails across the strait," the EIU solemnly notes the risk of "provocation by Taiwan," and more "ratcheting up [of] tensions" by those evidently war-hungry "authorities."

So much for impartial, no-truck-with-tyrants reporting!

Name withheld

China

Johnny replies: Sadly, the EIU is simply aping the style of any number of wire agencies and foreign correspondent hacks. Funnily enough, when you confront the journalists responsible, few take it seriously, and when they do they usually shrug their shoulders and blame their editor. As for the EIU, well, the credibility of its sibling magazine went out the window over the Iraq War, so what the hell should we expect?
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