Tue, Jan 04, 2000 page9

• Women in Kuwait seek help via hotline

  The Listening Center is the only personal help line in the Arab states of the Persian Gulf. But even its staff has been surprised by the high demand for its services in a region where people don't usually take their problems to strangers

  • AP
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  Sara's voice is pleading. Almost in tears, she wants the counselor on the other end of the phone line to tell her whether she should go back to the man who divorced her, remarried twice, and rarely asks about their three children.

  ``My children and I are at a loss,'' says the 47-year-old woman, who like all callers to the Listening Center doesn't give her real name. She says life at her parents' home is difficult and her former husband wants her back.

  But the counselor won't give her an answer. Instead, she gives homework: Sara should make a list of the pros and cons of returning to the man, and then call back to discuss it.

  ``We don't guide them,'' said Altaf Sultan al-Issa, president of the nearly year-old center. ``We listen and we help them help themselves.''

  Staff at the Listening Center said they were surprsied by the number of inquiries.

  ``We did not expect this many calls,'' said the manager of the Listening Center, Nouri al-Dawood. ``Today, we make it a point not to advertise in order not to swamp the workers.''

  In February, the first month of operation, the center received 125 calls from within Kuwait and two from other gulf countries. In October, 478 calls were taken, including 31 from outside Kuwait.

  The center employs 10 women and two men who work as counselors in four-hour shifts covering 12 hours a day. All received training for three months and regularly attend weekly seminars by visiting lecturers, al-Issa said.

  Although the center is financed by Islamic charity money channeled through Kuwait's government, its philosophy remains independent from religious orientation, its managers say. Indeed, Al-Issa is a liberal women's rights activist who does not abide by the Islamic dress code, leaving her head uncovered in public.

  Jassem Hajjia, a child psychologist and a member of the committee that runs the center, said the hot line fills a gap.

  ``People usually take their problems to friends,'' but talking to a professional who is trained to help them sort out their feelings is much better, Hajjia said.

  The counselors can also recognize psychological problems and refer callers to specialists, he added.

  Divorce, forced marriages and polygamy -- Islam allows men to marry up to four women -- top the list of problems troubling callers, most of whom are women, al-Issa said.

  The center is quickly outgrowing its budget of 50,000 dinars (US$164,000) a year, and its leaders have begun contacting possible donors in the region to help extend working hours around the clock.

  Hajjia said Kuwaitis have become more accepting of psychological care since the 1990-1991 Gulf crisis, when many sought help coping with the trauma of the seven-month occupation by Iraqi troops. The government has also set up a center for treating the hundreds who were tortured and raped.

  ``We are not as advanced as America [in mental health care], but we have specialists and we are striving to improve,'' Hajjia said.

  The workers at the Listening Center have a sense of pride and accomplishment, something not very common in this oil-rich state where coddled lives leave many employees lacking motivation.

  ``My work here has changed my life; my outlook is not superficial anymore,'' Teeb al-Maatouk, a 31-year-old counselor, said while taking a break in an elegantly furnished hall outside her glass-doored office.

  Although employees usually manage to leave work behind at the end of the day, some voices stay etched in their memories, al-Maatouk said.

  ``I remember the wailing of a woman whose husband had sexually abused their two daughters. She was hysterical,'' al-Maatouk recalled.
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