Mon, Mar 19, 2007 page2

• Feature: Silence hurting suicide survivors

  DOUBLE-EDGED A culture of silence that helps protect the image of families in which a member has committed suicide is also proving detrimental to the healing process

  • By Angelica Oung / STAFF REPORTER
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  "Let me go," said Li Ching-ni (李靜妮) to her brother Li Tien-fu (李添福), moments before she plunged to her death, the United Daily News reported last Friday.

  Li Tien-fu told the press that he managed to grab onto to his sister's arm as she jumped from the eighth floor window of their home in Chungli (中壢) last Thursday.

  "My arm became exhausted. I tried and I tried, but she still fell," he said.

  Department of Health figures show that suicide was among the top 10 causes of death in the country for eight consecutive years, accounting for 4,282 deaths in 2005.

  Behind the statistics lie even more family members who are left devastated by the deaths.

  Traditional attitudes dictate silence and avoidance when a suicide occurs, but the taboo surrounding the topic is impeding the healing process for families, experts say.

  Unable to prevent the suicide of her sister more than 15 years ago, Lu Hsin-chin (呂欣芹) has been trying to come to terms with her sister's death ever since.

  "I was 18 and I blamed myself because I didn't pick up in time when she called me that day at four in the morning," Lu said.

  Lu dropped out of school for six years and began to act in self-destructive ways, culminating in two suicide attempts.

  Her family, meanwhile, remained silent.

  "It was as if she never existed. I had no one to talk to," Lu said.

  To spare her family the stigma of suicide, her sister's death certificate stated "cranial fracture" as the cause of death.

  Lu said she was finally encouraged to break the silence by Lin Chi-yun (林綺雲), who teaches at the Institute of Life and Death Education and Counselling at the National Taipei College of Nursing.

  "Families of suicides in this country cannot go through the grieving process normally," Lin said. "There is still a feeling of dishonor associated with suicides. Everybody is looking for answers, including families, resulting in blame and self-blame."

  Lu ultimately went back to school and is now working as a counsellor for family members left behind by suicide.

  "We took the terms `survivors' from US literature on the subject," Lu said. "It reflects the trauma that befalls family members after a suicide."

  Lu now hosts a survivors' storytelling group at Mackay Memorial Hospital to give comfort and support to family members.

  "We don't do too much in the way of intervention," she said. "People can tell whatever story they want to tell, whether or not it is related to their family member's suicide. The important thing is to let them know that they are not alone."

  Hsu Hong-min (徐宏銘), from Taichung's Mood clinic, has diagnosed survivors in his practice as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

  "Our traditional culture is not conducive to expressing one's feelings, everybody feels they have a role to play in order to remain proper," he said.

  "Consequently, members of a family in which a suicide took place often repress their grief," Hsu said.

  Hsu brought up the case of a 46-year-old woman who suffered from intense headaches and sleeplessness after her husband hanged himself four years ago. She turned to Hsu after increasingly strong painkillers and sleep medication failed to bring her relief.

  "In the short term, we are treating her with anti-depressants, in the long run, we hope that counseling will help her come to terms with her husband's death, which is the root cause of her symptoms," Hsu said.

  The nation's characteristically tight-knit family unit is a double-edged sword in suicide prevention, said Lin, who has a sociology background.

  "The same sense of shame that prevents families from confronting their family member's suicide also prevents them from getting help for depressed or mentally ill members," Lin said. This is "because each family member is not seen as an individual, and their mental illness or suicide is seen as reflecting badly on the whole family."

  However, the director of the Mental Health Foundation said that strong family ties are, in the whole, a positive force in suicide prevention.

  "Compared to countries that have even higher suicide rates, such as South Korea or Japan, we have traditionally had really strong family bonds and social support networks as well as a culture that is more open and accepting," Hu Hai-guo (胡海國) said. "Family members live for each other -- there are always problems in life, but you overcome problems for the other's sake."

  Hu said that the nation's rising suicide rate in recent years reflected the corrosive effect of modern life on traditional bonds.

  "We have to hold on to what is good about our culture," he said. "With the rise of greater individualism, many have lost their sense of belonging."

  As for Lu, she said that despite her long healing process, she still has not completely recovered from her sister's death.

  "I think it will always be a part of my life," she said.
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