Two-time US figure skating champion Gracie Gold said in a New York Times interview published on Friday that she battled suicidal thoughts as she struggled with depression that has disrupted her life and career.
“I was suicidal for months,” Gold said, describing dark days when she was living in Detroit three years after a sparkling 2014 season brought her to the attention of the skating world.
“If I had just continued the way I was in Detroit, I’d probably be dead,” said Gold, who was shutting out her family and gorging on food after years of limiting her calories.
Gold, 23, appeared to have a bright future on ice when she won a 2014 Olympic team bronze medal and finished fourth in the individual women’s event.
However, her bid to make last year’s Games evaporated amid her mental health troubles, and her attempt to return to the sport in November last year saw her finish 10th in the short program before withdrawing from the free skate at a Grand Prix event in Russia.
She is not competing this week in the US championships.
Gold recalled developing concerns about her weight before the 2014 Olympics that prompted her to drastically cut her calorie intake.
“The more weight I lost, the quicker and faster I felt on the ice,” Gold said.
After earning a second national title, she was devastated to finish out of the medals at the 2016 World Championships. At a US team training camp that year, teammate Ashley Wagner realized Gold was struggling.
It would be another year before Gold “snapped” at another training camp and was persuaded to enter an in-patient treatment program for eating disorders, with US Figure Skating covering the cost.
Now she is training again, and getting into shape with a healthier diet and a new coach, Gold told the Times.
She said her return to the sport feels like a new beginning, describing the sense of accomplishment she felt when she completed a clean triple Lutz.
“You forget how magical those moments are,” Gold said.
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