It is Christmas, and the scramble begins to dig through that mountain of presents, haul out the gift-wrapped Johnny Damon jersey, and do one of two things: sell it on eBay or burn it in effigy.
Damon's dramatic departure to the Bronx is yet another reminder sports is a business, and most of the time, sports is all about money. Don't be mad at Johnny because he didn't demonstrate loyalty to the Red Sox. What about the loyalty, or lack thereof, the home team showed Bill Mueller? You can't be peeved about that, either. It's the byproduct of running a company.
I know you want sports to be pure. You want your children to be able to glue that poster of their favorite star to their walls and leave it there for years. You cross your fingers and hope they opt for Troy Brown instead of Terrell Owens, but you know he or she is bombarded with far more sound bites from the latter. T.O. is hip, sassy, cool. Troy Brown is merely reliable, committed -- and boring.
Controversy sells; quiet excellence doesn't.
So here is a hearty Christmas thanks to all those pro athletes who play with dignity, pride, and an insatiable appetite for winning -- without the hype, the highlights, or the histronics.
Spurs center Tim Duncan, the finest player in the NBA, is intelligent, insightful, and hysterical -- if he's comfortable enough with you to show that side. He's won three championships and two MVP trophies, but you wonder if he had a little more Barkley in him if he might have won more.
"No doubt about it," said his coach, Gregg Popovich. "It's all about image. If we hadn't won a championship, you'd never see Tim Duncan on the NBA promos. And that's a fact."
Popovich is the coach's version of Duncan. His career mark in the NBA is 476-239 (to go with three titles), yet rarely is his name spoken breathlessly in the same manner as headliners Phil Jackson, Larry Brown, and Pat Riley. Popovich comes from a military background and is a no-nonsense disciplinarian who demands professionalism and humility from his team. Sound like a certain football coach we know?
"I'm not that big of a sports guy," Popovich confessed. "I don't understand the huge impact it has on the lives of so many people. It shouldn't be that way. We could be spending our time more wisely than watching TV and idolizing guys who dunk a basketball.
"I tend to favor the guy who does stuff and acts like he's done it a million times before. It means he's grateful for his skills, but not that impressed with himself. He doesn't need to show anybody up.
"I watch the Little League World Series and the kids are stepping up to the plate and spitting, because they think they're supposed to do that in order to enter the special world of sports heroes."
Hockey Hall of Famer Ray Bourque enjoyed a wonderful career in Boston, yet one criticism dogged him: He wasn't dynamic enough. Bourque won five Norris Trophies (and later a Stanley Cup with Colorado), but refrained from showy moves, or sharing his karaoke talents or his practical jokes with the public.
"I wasn't going to do it loud or flashy -- on or off the ice," Bourque acknowledged. "At times it probably hurts you, maybe in terms of endorsements or personal awards. But I didn't care about getting credit in that regard. I was looking to fulfill my obligations to my team. If I did that, I could sleep very well at night."
Duncan has adopted a similar tact. During San Antonio's lone visit to Boston this season, the team was at shootaround when Popovich gave Duncan his assignment: guard Mark Blount. Duncan, irritated he wouldn't have a chance to shut down Raef LaFrentz, was asked if he needed a refresher on Blount's tendencies.
"Never heard of him," he deadpanned. "You've never heard of him, or you don't know his game?" persisted assistant coach P.J. Carlesimo. "Neither," Duncan answered. Popovich, trying to suppress his laughter, pulled Duncan aside and explained, "If you guard LaFrentz, you'll be running out to the perimeter, then back under the basket. I'm trying to give my best player a break." Duncan cracked, "In that case, have [Manu] Ginobili guard Blount."
"I'm telling you right now," reported Spurs teammate Brent Barry, "Tim is one of the funniest guys around. But he's gotten used to being the boring guy who is really good."
Cincinnati receiver Chad Johnson has become a household name because of his clever end zone celebrations. On the surface, they seem fun and innocent enough, yet Johnson admitted he didn't celebrate after a touchdown last week in a win against Detroit (which clinched the AFC North title for the Bengals) because the game was "too important." And why, exactly, weren't the other games?
"Jim Brown and I talked about this," said Patriots coach Bill Belichick. "He feels as soon as the play is over, you should be thinking about the next one. There were times when Jim played that he was slow getting back to the huddle, and it might have looked like something other than it was, but in his mind, as he was walking back, he was already getting himself into the proper mind-set to think about the next situation."
Belichick said spontaneous celebrations are fine, but staged antics have no place on the field.
"This is the way I was brought up," Belichick said. "It's the only way I've ever seen it. At the Naval Academy, it was all about teamwork and what the team embodied.
"When I was in high school, I played for Al Laramore, and he was a very straight old-fashioned disciplinarian. He wouldn't put up with anything -- nothing that drew attention to you in any way.
"I remember one year one of our best players was caught smoking. That was it. Al kicked him off the team. No discussion at all. He was just gone."
Tom Brady willingly drinks Belichick's Kool-Aid and it has served him well. He has three Super Bowl rings and a Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year award to show for it.
"To a degree, T.O. is a wonderful example of what can happen," Brady offered. "Individual stuff is fine -- for a while. You can make a splash, but when it's all about you, it doesn't last long.
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