A wisecracking Shaquille O'Neal is a happy Shaquille O'Neal, and the Miami Heat center is firing off plenty of one-liners these days.
It's no coincidence that his team is atop the Eastern Conference.
PHOTO: EPA
O'Neal is averaging 21.8 points and 10.8 rebounds, has hit an NBA-best 60 percent of his shots and ranks fifth with 2.7 blocks per game for Miami (26-8), which is 5 games ahead of Cleveland in the East.
His 33-point, 18-rebound performance lifted the Heat to a 102-94 win over the New York Knicks on Wednesday night -- Miami's 15th victory in its last 16 games, one that put O'Neal in a pretty good mood.
"We're playing good, moving the ball, playing unselfish, having fun, doing things it takes to win," O'Neal said.
And then, the comedy routine began, one where O'Neal addressed his evolving relationship with Miami's star second-year guard Dwyane Wade, how to have success on the road and the latest in a series of cracks he's taken against his former Los Angeles Lakers teammate Kobe Bryant -- whose name he refuses to say.
So far, O'Neal and Wade have shared the spotlight easily in Miami, something he and Bryant never managed.
The Heat duo are the NBA's highest-scoring twosome, their combined 45.8 points-per-game average just edging the 45.7 Seattle's Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis carried into Thursday's game at Washington.
"I think [Wade] knows that he's a good player. I think he feels that he could be even better," O'Neal said. "I didn't even know he was 22 until I asked him how old he was the other day. He's definitely my best second-year pupil, from Little League to college to the pros."
At each of his stops so far -- Orlando, the Lakers and now Miami -- O'Neal has been paired with a young guard possessing superstar potential.
With the Magic, it was Penny Hardaway. With the Lakers, Bryant. And O'Neal swears that Wade is easily his favorite, saying his poise and humble ways set him apart.
"Finally, I have someone that's like me," O'Neal said. "My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on."
Miami opens a five-game, eight-day road trip, its longest of the season, on Friday in Portland. Miami has won its last seven games away from home -- the best current streak in the NBA.
The secret to road wins? "Stay out of the gentlemen's clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused," O'Neal said.
All kidding aside, the trip won't be easy.
Following the Portland matchup, Miami visits Seattle and Phoenix -- two of the NBA's best teams -- in a three-night span, then plays at Golden State and the Los Angeles Clippers before heading home.
"We want to solidify ourselves as the top team in the league, so we need to go out on the road and get it done," Heat guard Eddie Jones said.
O'Neal often says he's pleased with the way Miami has started the season, but also cautions that there's still many more obstacles the Heat need to overcome before becoming a title contender.
"Being the best right now," O'Neal said, "doesn't do anything for my feathers."
Bonzi Wells scored 23 points to help the Memphis Grizzlies beat the Detroit Pistons 101-79 on Thursday, extending their season-high winning streak to five games.
The Grizzlies (17-17) reached .500 for the first time this season. They were 5-11 when they hired Mike Fratello on Dec. 2 to replace the retired Hubie Brown.
Richard Hamilton scored 14 points -- without making a field goal -- for Detroit, which was handed its most lopsided loss in two years. The defending NBA champions had won five of six.
"They've got a championship, so I guess they can take a night off," Wells said. "We don't have a championship, so we're hungry. We were just more aggressive."
Mike Miller added 17 points for Memphis, which led by as many as 22 in the third quarter and coasted in the fourth. Shane Battier and Pau Gasol each had 12.
The Grizzlies made 12 of 21 3-pointers. They held Detroit to 31.3 percent shooting and forced 23 turnovers, got 32 assists and had seven players score at least eight points.
"I never thought I would have to coach effort," Pistons coach Larry Brown said. "I've never had to do that in my entire life, and this is the last group that I expected to have to do it with."
Wizards 107, SuperSonics 96
In Washington, the Wizards made the most of their first national TV appearance in 20 months, building a quick lead with balanced scoring in a victory over Seattle.
Gilbert Arenas scored 27 points and Larry Hughes had 21 to lead six players in double figures as the Wizards improved to 5-5 against teams from the Western Conference, the latest notable milestone in what has so far been Washington's most promising season in nearly two decades.
The Wizards, winning their third straight to start a five-game homestand, took advantage of a tired Seattle team that often appeared to have its mind on the trip home after a nine-day, five-game East Coast road trip. The Sonics lost by 18 at Orlando on Tuesday and finished the trip 3-2.
Spurs 111, Pacers 98
In San Antonio, Tim Duncan scored 27 points and Tony Parker had 26, leading San Antonio past Indiana.
Manu Ginobili added 18 points and Duncan grabbed 12 rebounds for San Antonio, which improved to 8-0 at home against Eastern Conference teams and 16-1 overall at the SBC Center.
The Spurs earned their seventh double-digit victory in eight games, but it didn't come easy.
Jermaine O'Neal had 32 points and nine rebounds for the Pacers, and Jamaal Tinsley finished with 18 points and eight assists.
Los Angeles Lakers center Vlade Divac underwent surgery to repair a herniated disc Thursday and is expected to miss about three months.
Divac originally hurt his back during a workout before training camp and was on the injured list from Nov. 2-23. He reinjured his back three weeks ago and was placed on the injured list Dec. 22.
The center has averaged 0.8 points, 1.1 rebounds and 0.5 assists in 4.6 minutes in eight games this season.
Divac, who was signed as a free agent by the Lakers in July, is a 15-year NBA veteran who began his career with the Lakers in 1989. He played for Sacramento last season.
Kobe loses fashion appeal
Kobe Bryant is no longer a fashion icon.
For the last month, Bryant's No. 8 Lakers jersey -- previously one of the best sellers in the world -- has fallen out of the top 50, according to point-of-sale data tabulated by a Florida market research firm.
Bryant's NBA jersey was still the 10th-highest selling jersey for the year, but he finished the month of December at No. 72 -- and in one week plunged to No. 90, a drastic slide for the player many once saw as the sport's next marketing golden boy.
"I would never have thought it would have dropped off like this," said Neil Schwartz, director of marketing and business development for SportsScanINFO in West Palm Beach, Florida, which tracks weekly sales data from sporting goods retailers across the US.
Will Bynum poured in 21 points and dished out seven assists to lead the ninth-ranked Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets past the Miami Hurricanes, 80-69, in a hard-fought ACC contest on Thursday.
Bynum, who got the start for the injured B.J. Elder, finished the game 8-of-15 from the field, while Jarrett Jack contributed 14 points for the Yellow Jackets (10-2, 1-0 ACC), who rebounded from their 70-68 setback to Kansas on Jan. 1.
Guillermo Diaz matched a career-high as he scored 27 points to lead the Hurricanes (9-3, 0-1), who saw their eight-game winning streak come to an end.
No. 11 Gonzaga 91, Santa Clara 87
In Santa Clara, California, Derek Raivio poured in a career-high 32 points to lead Gonzaga to a 91-87 win over Santa Clara in the West Coast Conference opener for both schools at the Leavey Center.
Raivio was 8-of-11 shooting from the floor, including a 6-for-9 clip from beyond the arc, as the Bulldogs (11-2, 1-0 WCC) rebounded from last week's loss to Missouri and won for the eighth time in nine tries. Adam Morrison, the WCC Player of the Month for December, finished with 18 points in the close win.
Kyle Bailey paced Santa Clara with 26 points. Doron Perkins added 22 points and Travis Niesen contributed 17 for the Broncos (7-9, 0-1), who have dropped five in a row overall and nine straight versus Gonzaga.
No. 12 Washington 84, USC 59
In Los Angeles, Tre Simmons scored 22 points and grabbed seven rebounds to lead Washington to an 84-59 thumping of Southern California at Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena.
Mike Jensen added 14 points for the Huskies (13-1, 3-0 Pac 10), who have won nine in a row overall. Brandon Roy tallied 10 points as Washington never trailed and led by as many as 27 points.
Nick Young had 20 points and added seven boards for the Trojans (7-7, 0-3), who have dropped three straight and four of five.
No. 13 Arizona 87, California 67
In Berkeley, California, Channing Frye led five players in double figures with 20 points, as No. 13 Arizona downed California, 87-67, in Pac-10 action from Haas Pavillion.
Hassan Adams posted 16 points while Ivan Radenovic added 14 points and seven rebounds for Arizona (12-2, 2-0 Pac 10), which captured its ninth straight victory. Richard Midgley tallied 14 points for the Golden Bears (8-5, 1-2), who had won three straight prior to the start of conference play.
No. 15 Texas 74, Memphis 67
In Austin, Texas, P.J. Tucker scored 18 points and Daniel Gibson added 17 to lead the Texas Longhorns over the Memphis Tigers, 74-67, at the Frank Erwin Center.
Gibson finished the game 4-of-9 from the field and went 3-for-7 from three-point land as the Longhorns (11-2) won for the 13th straight time at home.
Darius Washington Jr. led the way for Memphis (7-7), pouring in a career-high 23 points on 7-of-13 shooting. The Tigers lost for the fifth time in seven contests.
No. 23 Cincinnati 83, DePaul 54
In Cincinnati, Jason Maxiell led the way with 19 points, as No. 23 Cincinnati downed DePaul, 83-54, in the Conference USA opener for both teams at Fifth Third Arena.
Armein Kirkland added 18 points for the Bearcats.
Quemont Greer tallied 12 points for DePaul, which saw its three-game winning streak halted. LeVar Seals added nine points in the loss.
No. 1 Illinois 84, Ohio St. 65
James Augustine scored 21 points and grabbed 10 rebounds to lead Illinois to an 84-65 victory over Ohio State in the Big Ten opener for both at Assembly Hall on Wednesday.
Deron Williams added 14 points and Dee Brown chipped in 13 for the Fighting Illini (15-0, 1-0 Big Ten), who remained one of four unbeaten teams in Division I basketball. The others are Kansas, Duke and Boston College. Illinois has won five straight against Ohio State and earned its 100th win in 159 all-time meetings with the Buckeyes.
Tony Stockman scored 19 points and Ivan Harris contributed 14 for Ohio State (11-3, 0-1), which had a six-game winning streak stopped.
No. 2 Kansas 65, Texas A&M 60
In Lawrence, Kansas, Aaron Miles had 15 points and five assists to lead Kansas to a hard-fought 65-60 win over previously unbeaten Texas A&M at Allen Fieldhouse.
Michael Lee contributed 10 points for the Jayhawks (10-0, 1-0 Big 12), who are off to their best start since 1996-97 when the school began 22-0.
Joseph Jones scored 16 points and grabbed seven rebounds for the Aggies.
No. 5 Duke 59, Princeton 46
In Durham, North Carolina, J.J. Redick scored a team-high 21 points to lead the Duke Blue Devils over the Princeton Tigers, 59-46, at Cameron Indoor Stadium.
Redick, who finished the game 14-of-14 from the charity stripe, was the only Blue Devil to score in double figures. Shelden Williams collected a game-high 14 rebounds and scored seven points as the Blue Devils (10-0) won the first 10 games of the season for fourth time in five years. Williams failed to record a double-double for the first time in four contests.
Will Venable's 21 points led the way for the Tigers (8-5), as Princeton fell to 0-2 on the year against ranked opponents.
No. 6 Syracuse 79, St. John's 65
In New York, Hakim Warrick scored 22 points and Gerry McNamara added 19, as sixth-ranked Syracuse pulled away in the second half for a 79-65 victory over St. John's in the Big East opener for both at Madison Square Garden.
Josh Pace chipped in 12 points for the Orange (14-1, 1-0 Big East), who have won six straight since their lone loss of the season against Oklahoma State. That came Dec. 7 at Madison Square Garden and the Orange played their fourth game on the fabled floor this season, having won the Coaches versus Cancer Classic in November.
Daryll Hill scored 23 points to lead St. John's (6-5, 0-1), which had won three straight, including a 63-45 dismantling of then-No. 17 North Carolina State on Dec. 30.
No. 8 Kentucky 79,
South Carolina 75
In Lexington, Kentucky, Kelenna Azubuike scored 21 points and Chuck Hayes added 15 with 10 rebounds to lead No. 8 Kentucky to a hard-fought 79-75 victory over the South Carolina Gamecocks in the Southeastern Conference opener for both schools at Rupp Arena.
Rajon Rondo contributed 11 for the Wildcats (10-1, 1-0 SEC), who have won 17 of their last 18 conference openers.
Tre Kelley scored 19 points to lead the Gamecocks (8-4, 0-1), who fell to 5-35 in the series with Kentucky. Carlos Powell contributed 15 points in the loss.
No. 25 Boston College 75,
No. 10 Connecticut 70
In Hartford, Connecticut, Jared Dudley scored 17 points and Craig Smith battled back from first-half foul trouble to add 16, as 25th-ranked Boston College remained unbeaten with a 75-70 victory over No. 10 Connecticut in the Big East opener for both at the Hartford Civic Center.
Jermaine Watson scored 10 points and Louis Hinnant chipped in eight for the Eagles (12-0, 1-0 Big East), who are off to the best start in school history.
Josh Boone led Connecticut with 18 points and 15 rebounds.
Michigan 65, No. 14 Iowa 63
In Iowa City, Iowa, Brent Petway led four Wolverines in double figures with 14 points, as Michigan upset the Iowa Hawkeyes, 65-63, in an exciting start to Big Ten conference play at Carver-Hawkeye Arena.
Petway, who shot 6-of-9, also grabbed seven rebounds and blocked four shots. The return of Daniel Horton, who had been out with a left knee sprain since early December, sparked the Wolverines (9-5, 1-0 Big Ten). Horton scored 13 points on 5-of-8 shooting in 26 minutes of action.
The Hawkeyes were led by Pierre Pierce, who had 15 points.
Georgetown 67,
No. 16 Pittsburgh 64
In Pittsburgh, Brandon Bowman's layup with eight seconds left proved to be the winning bucket, as the Georgetown Hoyas upset the Pittsburgh Panthers, 67-64, at the Petersen Events Center.
Bowman, who scored 18 points while grabbing nine rebounds, gave the Hoyas (9-3, 1-0 Big East) a 66-64 lead with the clock winding down. Following a timeout, Pittsburgh's Chevon Troutman threw the ball out of bounds as the Panthers attempted to set up a shot.
Ashanti Cook was then fouled on the inbound and hit 1-of-2 from the line, pushing the lead to three. Pittsburgh was unable to get a shot off, sealing the win for the Hoyas and sending the Panthers to their second straight surprising loss.
Cook scored a game-high 23 points for the Hoyas.
Houston 70, No. 17 Louisville 67
In Houston, Texas, Andre Owens buried two clutch three-pointers down the stretch and finished with a game-high 27 points, as Houston held on for a 70-67 upset of Louisville in the conference opener for both schools at Hofheinz Pavilion.
Lanny Smith scored 12 points and Ramon Dyer chipped in 10 for the Cougars (8-5, 1-0 C-USA).
Juan Diego Palacios paced the Cardinals with 20 points.
No. 18 Mississippi St. 90,
Auburn 53
In Starkville, Mississippi, Lawrence Roberts scored 19 points and grabbed 15 rebounds to lead the 18th-ranked Mississippi State Bulldogs to a 90-53 blowout win over the Auburn Tigers.
Roberts shot just 5-of-14 from the field, but hit 9-of-11 from the free throw line. He recorded his third straight double-double, as MSU won its seventh straight contest.
Jamall Edmondson and Winsome Frazier each scored 12 points for the Bulldogs (13-2, 1-0 SEC).
The Tigers (9-5, 0-1), who fell to 11-24 in SEC openers on the road, were led by Toney Douglas, who scored 14 points.
Vanderbilt 70, No. 19 Alabama 56
In Nashville, Tennessee, Jason Holwerda and Mario Moore each scored 16 points as Vanderbilt held off a late Alabama rally by defeating the 19th-ranked Crimson Tide, 70-56, in the SEC opener for both schools at Memorial Gym.
Shan Foster added 12 points for Vanderbilt (10-4, SEC 1-0), which has won six straight. Foster and Moore combined to hit 8-of-10 from beyond the arc.
Jermareo Davidson paced the Crimson Tide with 21 points..
No. 20 Michigan St. 84,
Penn State 58
In State College, Pennsylvania, Alan Anderson scored 17 points and grabbed six rebounds to lead Michigan State to an easy 84-58 win over Penn State at the Bryce Jordan Center.
Shannon Brown added 16 points and Maurice Ager contributed 12 for the Spartans (9-2, 1-0 Big Ten), who have won six straight contests.
Geary Claxton posted a game-high 20 points for the Nittany Lions.
Villanova 84,
No. 21 West Virginia 46
In Villanova, Pennsylvania, Allan Ray poured in 26 points on 10-of-16 shooting, as Villanova blew out previously unbeaten West Virginia, 84-46, at The Pavilion.
Mike Nardi contributed 18 points and Curtis Sumpter added 13 points and seven boards for the Wildcats, who have won six straight games since their only loss of the season against Temple.
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