Everybody loves weddings 大家都愛婚禮！
“Don’t you just love weddings, Mark?” Kathleen asked her best friend as they entered the church. Her cousin Vera was getting married to a rhinoceros named Bertram. “I sure do. But for some reason I always end up crying,” Mark said sadly.
The church was packed with guests. Mark guessed there must’ve been over 200 people inside. The groom stood at the altar waiting for his bride to arrive. A buzz of excitement went round the church as the organ began to play and Vera walked down the aisle wearing a magnificent white dress. As they read the wedding vows a photographer snapped the happy couple. “Don’t they look fantastic? I wonder what kind of dress I will have for my wedding?” Kathleen asked.
Afterwards, all the guests went to a party. Everybody gathered round as Vera and Bertram cut the cake. Then it was time to throw the bouquet. “Whoever catches this bouquet will get married next!” Vera yelled. She turned her back and threw it in the air. There was a scramble as all the girls tried to grab it, but Kathleen was the strongest. “It’s me! It’s me! I’m going to get married next. I wonder who my husband will be?” she yelled. Before she got a chance to find out the answer, the music started playing and everybody got up to dance. Everybody except Mark, that is, who just sat in the corner. He hated dancing.
Suddenly the music stopped and everybody stopped dancing. A tall rhinoceros wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots was standing in the doorway. “This marriage is wrong,” he boomed in his deep voice. “And I won’t leave here until it is stopped!”
(JOHN PHILLIPS, STAFF WRITER)
凱薩琳和她最好的朋友走進教堂時，她問：「馬克，你喜歡婚禮嗎？」凱薩琳的表姊薇拉要和一頭叫做伯崔的犀牛結婚。馬克哀怨地答道：「我當然喜歡，但是因為某種原因，我最後總是哭得唏哩嘩啦地。」
教堂裡擠滿了賓客，馬克猜想裡面的賓客絕對超過兩百人。新郎站在聖壇等待新娘入場。司琴開始彈奏風琴，薇拉穿著一襲高貴的白紗踏上走道，這時教堂裡賓客興奮的交談聲此起彼落。當他們宣讀結婚誓言時，一名攝影師替這對幸福的小倆口拍照。凱薩琳問：「他們看起來棒極了，對吧？不知道我結婚時會穿什麼樣的禮服？」
婚禮結束後，所有賓客都去參加派對。薇拉和伯崔切蛋糕時，大家都圍著他們。接下來是丟新娘捧花的時間。薇拉大喊：「接到這束捧花的人就會是下一個結婚的人！」她轉身背對他們，然後把捧花丟到空中。女孩們擠成一團搶著接捧花，但凱薩琳擊敗群雌。她大喊：「是我！是我！我會是下一個結婚的人！不知道我的老公會是誰？」她還來不及找到答案，音樂聲便開始響起，大家都起身跳舞，除了馬克以外。他坐在角落，他最討厭跳舞了。
忽然，音樂停了下來，大家也都停下腳步。一頭戴著牛仔帽、穿著牛仔靴的高挑犀牛站在門口。他用他低沉的嗓音大喊：「這場婚姻是個錯誤！除非婚禮取消，否則我就不離開這裡！」
（翻譯：袁星塵）
A: After attending Taiwanese baseball superstar Chen Wei-yin’s retirement ceremony in Japan, why didn’t you stay longer for some fun? B: Don’t you remember? We’re going to Blackpink member Jisoo’s fan meeting at Messe Taoyuan this Sunday. A: Oh, that’s right. She’s the second Blackpink member visiting Taiwan as a solo artist after Lisa. B: Jisoo just released her EP “Amortage” on Valentine’s Day. A: Blackpink will also release new songs and launch a world tour this summer. A: 你去日本參加台灣強投陳偉殷的引退儀式後，怎麼沒留下來玩幾天？ B: 你忘啦？我們週日還要去「桃園會展中心」參加Blackpink成員Jisoo的見面會。 A: 啊對耶，她是繼Lisa後第二位單飛訪台的Blackpink成員。 B: Jisoo不久前才在情人節，推出個人迷你專輯《Amortage》。 A: Blackpink今年夏天也會推出新歌，還會啟動世界巡演呢！ （By Eddy Chang, Taipei Times／台北時報張迪）
A: Taiwan’s baseball superstar Chen Wei-yin announced his retirement, and I’m still in shock. B: Didn’t you fly to Japan last Sunday just to attend his retirement ceremony? A: Yeah, it was held by Chen’s former Japanese team, the Chunichi Dragons. I even cried at the event. B: His glorious record of 96 wins in Japanese and US professional baseball altogether is unprecedented. A: His total income of NT$3.3 billion, including a huge 2016 contract of US$80 million with the US Miami Marlins, is also unprecedented. A: 台灣棒球巨星陳偉殷宣布引退，真是令人震驚。 B: 你週日不是特別飛去日本，參加他的引退儀式嗎？ A: 對啊老東家「中日龍」為他舉行了儀式，我還感動到大哭。 B: 他創下日／美職棒總計96勝紀錄，真是史無前例。 A: 而他生涯總收入高達33億台幣，包括在2016年時，和「馬林魚」簽下8千萬美元巨約，更是無人能及！ （By Eddy
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