1. “Your marriage must be so much harder, having to communicate across language and culture.”
Marriage is hard because you have to forgive. Forgiving in any language is equally difficult and equally rewarding. International marriages do have unique challenges because of our different backgrounds, but those challenges are just different than non-international marriages, not more difficult.
2. “So, do you think Taiwanese guys are good looking?”
Well, I think my Taiwanese guy is handsome. Some Taiwanese people will ask me what’s wrong with white guys. Nothing is wrong with them. It’s just that I happened to meet and fall in love with a pretty amazing Taiwanese guy.
3. “You’re not really Taiwanese because your husband is American.”
I am not any less Taiwanese because I married an American. Marriage and culture are not a zero-sum game. I do not reduce myself to half a person in order to join with my husband. We are two whole selves committing to one another. Both of us bring the entire vibrant culture from which we come from into our marriage. Yes, we do have to make compromises and difficult decisions in areas where our cultures conflict but those choices do not reduce our Taiwanese-ness, or American-ness, they help us mature.
4. “Do you hang out with other international couples?”
It is fun to hang out with other culturally-mixed couples. If we ever double date with another couple, it’s confusing who goes with whom because we instinctively pair off the similar looking ones. However, I don’t think I’ve ever hung out with another couple because they were also internationally married — we’ve hung out because we like them. And we certainly like all kinds of other couples, international or not. Also, we like hanging out with singles, divorcees, unmarried partners, other human beings in general. The ones we like.
As I finally slid into the warm embrace of the hot, clifftop pool, it was a serene moment of reflection. The sound of the river reflected off the cave walls, the white of our camping lights reflected off the dark, shimmering surface of the water, and I reflected on how fortunate I was to be here. After all, the beautiful walk through narrow canyons that had brought us here had been inaccessible for five years — and will be again soon. The day had started at the Huisun Forest Area (惠蓀林場), at the end of Nantou County Route 80, north and east
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