The fact that the series of disturbing self-portraits that feature in artist Lee Ching-chuan's (
In fact, the more ill at ease visitors to the Tamsui's Center of Arts and Culture become whilst viewing the pain and loneliness which is apparent in Lee's haunting oil paint images of contorted faceless bodies and dissected faces, the happier Lee is.
"The series of works is unlike anything I've ever done before. They weren't created to please viewers and they certainly weren't created to make people smile," stated the artist. "The series of works portrays a very personal and private part of my life. A part of my life when I was in a foreign country alone and suffering from bouts of both self-loathing and depression."
PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
Lee created the series of 14 self-portraits while studying at the MFA Academy of Arts in San Francisco between 2000 and 2001 -- a time he likes to refer to as "a period of immense frustration."
Instead of seeking the advice of a psychiatrist, Lee set out on a solo oil paint-coated voyage of self-discovery and therapy. The result is a series of works that, by relying on differing hues of blue and gold, capture Lee's torment on canvas.
"I was so caught up in my studies that I became confused and alienated from the outside world. And in turn became depressed and filed with self-loathing," Lee admitted. "It got to the stage when I couldn't even bring myself to look at my own image in the mirror. I didn't know who I was or what I was. It was like I was in a state of constant drowning -- hemmed in with no escape."
So disturbing are many of Lee's works, that after completing the series early last year and sending copies to his friends in Taiwan via email, more than one of his associates became rather worried about the artist's state of mind.
"Several [friends] contacted me immediately," recalled Lee. "They were pretty worried about me and thought that maybe I was on the verge of suicide. Which, of course I wasn't. Through the creation of the series of works I had come to terms with my situation and dealt with my despondent feelings."
Although more than happy to sell his works, Lee does insist on ensuring that his works end up in the hands of those who truly understand them rather than on the walls of apartments of those who simply like them.
Before selling any pieces in his Internal Dissection series, Lee takes the unprecedented path of vetting perspective buyers.
"I ask them what they see and why they see it," stated the artist. "After all, these works are not simply works of art to be traded in, they are very personal and a big part of me lies within each one."
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