Here's a Chinese New Year's story. A few years back I went to a New Year's party at my landlord's home. Having just walked into the foyer, I found myself standing woodenly in front of about fifteen smiling family members. I was cradling a bag of oranges brought as a gift. I remember being badly winded from the five-story climb.
It was then, as I struggled for breath, that I first heard the sound. A frenzied clicking accompanied by a strange, glottal, huffing noise. I couldn't identify its origin, but I knew it was getting closer.
It wasn't a pleasant sound. In fact it could be best described as sounding like someone in tap shoes attempting to run straight up a vertical wall while singing the lyrics to a Carpenters?song after inhaling a large amount of industrial coolant fumes. I became apprehensive as the sound came closer still, growing louder, more insistent. Then it appeared, a small sausage-shaped dog, its legs a blur as its tiny manicured claws scrabbled for purchase on the tiled floor. It skidded as it rounded the corner almost spinning out of control, but its little feet were able to find enough purchase to keep it headed in my direction.
About six feet from me the savage little beast went airborn. At the same time I moved to take evasive action. To this day I swear that all I wanted to do was delay the progress of the oncoming little creature long enough for it to be scooped up and locked away in a broom closet somewhere, but in retrospect, the resulting action could best be described as a punt.
It met my foot in mid-air and was dramatically re-directed toward the front window which, unfortunately, was wide open. The dog made no sound as it sailed out into space, but before gravity overtook it and it disappeared, our eyes met and I remember a definite look of surprise on its pinched little canine face. Dropping my oranges, I moved to grab the little critter but was tragically too late.
The room was overcome with a silence so profound that, for a moment, all I could hear was the sound of my oranges as they rolled down a little step and out onto the living room carpet. Needless to say, the evening's festive mood was badly tarnished and soon after the New Year holiday I found myself out on the street in search of a new apartment.
What's the point of this little New Year's story you ask? Well, nothing really. If anything, it's simply to point out that the New Year's holiday, while being a joyous time for local Taiwanese, can go badly wrong for foreigners. In fact, if not planned and prepared for in advance, it can be lonely and potentially embarrassing, granted the above example being of a more extreme variety. The point is that the New Year's holiday is an important time for locals. If you are not planning to take part, you need to prepare for some downtime. And if you are planning to take part in the celebrations, you need to be ready to do so in an appropriately culturally sensitive manner.
Not like a friend I once knew who accused his neighbor's grandfather of cheating at mahjong. It didn't seem to register that he had just learned the game five minutes before and the elder Mr Wang had been playing as a means of income for close to 70 years. He later pretended to scratch his back at the dinner table with a roasted chicken's foot and then, topped it off with the mother of all insults: Refusing to watch a local KTV-style variety show, demanding instead that everyone watch Taxi Driver, which he had brought on video.
Overcoming rudeness, however, can be the least of your worries come Chinese New Year. For foreigners who live in Taiwan far from their families, the holiday can be lonely and boring. This is because all shops, restaurants and malls are closed up tight and everyone is holed up in their parent's homes eating and watching TV. Chinese New Year is the only time that you can sleep in the street in Taipei and not worry about getting run over by a car, says local Taipei resident Chang Chi-li.
Those who haven't planned an escape trip out of the country should take a few extra precautions to see that they make it through the holiday unscathed. First, go to the grocery. As all restaurants will be closed for the next few days, stock up now or run the risk of having to exist on dried noodles and 7-11 hotdogs (one of the only establishments that remains open). Also, go to the video store. Despite the fact that most cable stations play their best offerings over the New Year, they still cannot be trusted. Other activities like that art project you're been meaning to start or that book you're been planning to read should be prepared for in advance of the mass shutdown that will, for three to four days, make Taipei resemble a ghost town.
Beyond that, it's a good time to do some hiking or head south in search of sun. The only problem with this is that because many people head south to be with their families, traffic congestion becomes a serious problem during the New Year. Bus trips from Kaohsiung to Taipei can stretch into days if you find yourself traveling during peak times.
Not that you should let this get in the way of having a good time. With a little forewarning and planning, you too can have a Lunar New Year celebration to remember. Just don't get yourself get evicted in the process.
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