You know you're screwed when the advice you get from your lawyer is "run like hell."
Two Wang family sons found themselves in custody on Wednesday as investigators began to determine just how much corrupt tycoon and former Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) bigwig -- is that tautological? -- Wang You-theng (
Son and media magnate Gary Wang (
But the Rebar corruption scandal isn't the alleged nickel-and-dime corruption that's typical fodder for partisan bitching.
Forget KMT Chairman Ma Ying-jeou (
You might call bank runs something of a "big deal." There was a bank run in the US about 75 or so years ago that eventually led to a little nugget of US history called the Great Depression. Maybe you've heard of it. The reason that things went downhill so fast after that bank run was because the US Federal Reserve didn't do its job, which was to give the banks credit to pay depositors demanding their money. So people stopped trusting banks, then people at other banks wanted to take all their money out ... and the rest was history, in a nutshell.
I don't mean to say that Taiwan is on the brink of a great depression, and certainly not that the Financial Supervisory Commission (FSC) is any paragon of bureaucratic efficiency and integrity (take a bow, disgraced former member Lin Chung-cheng [
Now, instead of widespread chaos and people jumping out of windows, we have lots of people hoarding cash under their mattresses trying to decide which alternative crap banks and companies they want to stick their hard-earned dollars into.
Gary Wang's Eastern Multimedia Corp looks like a promising investment.
Yet, judging by the responses of politicians, you'd think that Minister of Finance Ho Chih-chin (何志欽) and former FSC chairman Shih Jun-ji (施俊吉) had been the ones with their hands in the cookie jar instead of Daddy Wang. On the same day Ho was printing newspaper ads to assure people that their money was safe and announcing that every penny would be guaranteed, lawmakers were accusing him of failing his duty.
Blues, greens and everyone in between jumped on the resignation bandwagon. The China Post reported on Wednesday that KMT lawmakers Tsai Chin-lung (
Am I missing something, or didn't the takeover maintain financial order in the domestic market?
Perhaps we should just let faulty financial institutions crumble and screw all the ordinary citizens with deposits there.
Tsai also accused Ho and Shih of failing to calm panicked depositors, as if God almighty could have done that. And of course, according to Tsai, the FSC is as "useless as an appendix." Wow.
If my beloved country has any useless parts, it's politicians who think that problems of inefficiency or corruption are magically fixed by firing or deposing higher-ups.
I'll take the novel approach of blaming Daddy Wang, who created the damn mess in the first place. Ho has only been on the job for a few months and couldn't have engineered long-term banking problems if he tried.
Meanwhile, Shih is taking flak for not doing enough to control The Chinese Bank, which is under FSC supervision. Never mind that the run on the bank was triggered by the collapse of an organization outside the scope of the commission's control. It may not happen often, but at least for one brief flash, the FSC did its job.
Out of the whole mess, at least we can take consolation from the fact that there's one less KMT-linked thief within our borders. However, this could be undone if China's Taiwan Affairs Office spokesman Li Weiyi (
Also on the international front, President Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) managed to use the old A-bian charm to convince new Nicaraguan President and fair-weather friend Daniel Ortega not to sever diplomatic ties as promised -- for now.
But apparently word hasn't yet reached San Francisco that the whole daobian (倒扁, "depose Chen") thing has been out of fashion for some time now. Overseas Taiwanese cheering Chen's arrival were opposed by an international faction of red has-beens. They were egged on by KMT Central Standing Committee member Chiang Fang Chih-yi (蔣方智怡), who must have nothing better to do than follow Chen around the world harassing him.
The Bureau of Investigation apparently has oodles of time on its hands, too, as this week the Apple Daily reported it is conducting a free DNA test on a dog to determine if its owner was duped when she paid NT$20,000 to a neighbor claiming to have found the missing maltese. One Ms Tsai was frantic when Little Ding-Dang made a break for it about two months ago. She identified her unfaithful companion on posters by saying: "Little Ding-Dang only has one testicle and curly white hair."
There must be a few short-haired malteses with botched neutering jobs running around her neighborhood if the dog needs a DNA test. It seems like the whole confirmation process could be drastically shortened by getting Little Ding-Dang to turn and cough, but inspection of his manly parts won't do for Tsai.
Luckily, the bureau is willing to help certify the suspected imposter pooch, saying it can use the practice and experience in the event a future case hinges on canine DNA evidence.
Hey, is Ma Hsiao-jeou still missing?
Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
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