Bad puns and juvenile jokes are washing back and forth across the strait between Belgium and England. On the one side, warm beer, bad food and football hooligans; on the other, chocaholics, fat Eurocrats and historical nonentities.
It’s the Brits versus the Frites, Bambi versus Rumpypumpy, the UK versus Belgium in the contest to run Europe.
This is the cartoon version of the choices that faced European leaders yesterday as they went to a Brussels dinner at odds over who should head the new regime created by the Lisbon Treaty: the first sitting president in charge of EU summitry and the first foreign policy chief and vice president of the European commission.
The popular British papers are exercised about the prospect of Belgian Prime Minister Herman Van Rompuy (“Rumpypumpy”) getting the top job.
For the Belgians, keener to knit a single Europe, former British prime minister Tony Blair (“Bambi”) is the biggest threat.
“British tabloids lead the attack against Van Rompuy,” the Flemish newspaper De Standaard declared on Wednesday after a UK tabloid screamed “Britain Ruled by a Belgian? You Must Be Joking.”
A paper in Wallonia listed 10 reasons to hate the Brits. Most were light-hearted cliches, but La Capitale added the more cutting point: “We still have not forgotten their hooligans responsible for the deaths of 39 people at Heysel [stadium] in 1985.”
A dream team would have fused Britian and Belgium: Rompuy as president and British Foreign Secretary David Miliband as foreign minister. But Miliband pulled out.
Also, Britain is insisting on Blair and believes the pro-Miliband campaign was an attempt to destroy the New Labour leader. The Belgians hope Miliband can still be persuaded to change his mind.
“If the UK can offer full cooperation anywhere in the EU, it is in foreign affairs,” a Belgian official said.
The British government is not thought to object very strongly to Rompuy, whom Prime Minister Gordon Brown is said to esteem.
La Capitale, meanwhile, balanced its British hate-list with 10 things the Belgians should love about Brits: great pop music, great gardens, and “they came to our rescue every time we were invaded.”
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