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Matchmaking gets a makeover in Shanghai

Young Chinese women wait to meet suitable mates at Shanghai's largest-ever matchmaking festival, held in the eastern Chinese city of Shanghai on Oct. 2. Organizers of the event said the wholesale modern version of the ancient Song Dynasty tradition of matchmaking filled a void for overworked Chinese professionals, while men were particularly appreciative of the no-nonsense approach and the three-to-one ratio in their favor. PHOTO: AFP

Harry Han was pretty pleased with himself. In the space of a few minutes, the dapper, handsome 29-year-old had pocketed a couple of women's phone numbers and was now coolly scanning the crowd for his next target.

"There are five hours and each date takes eight minutes, so I can get to know a lot of people," Han said on a recent Saturday evening of matchmaking in Shanghai.

"Everybody is aware of what they are doing here tonight, so maybe my ship has come in," said Han, one of more than 4,000 eager participants who came to Zhongshan Park in search of that most fickle of human desires -- love.

While a certain pragmatism was the prevailing sentiment at Shanghai's largest ever matchmaking festival, men were particularly appreciative of the no-nonsense approach -- ?and especially the three-to-one ratio in their favor.

"You see a nice girl here, you just go up and talk to her and ask for her cellphone number -- no need to hesitate, no need to be shy," Zhao said, embarrassed to give his first name but keen to get back to work.

"If men take a bit of initiative, there will be loads of chances to find someone," the 39-year-old salesman said. "If you did that on the subway, people would just think you were a freak."

Organizers of the event said the wholesale modern version of the ancient Song dynasty tradition of matchmaking, arranged exclusively for white collar workers who earn a minimum of 5,000 yuan (US$620) a month, was filling a void for the overworked Chinese professional.

"The economy is growing fast, society is developing fast and people are just too busy to date," said Song Qian, assistant chairman of 51friend.net, a popular Internet dating site which co-organized the event.

Song said that one-third of white collar workers aged 25 to 35 in Beijing and Guangdong are unmarried, rating the two among the highest in China's developed cities.

"Some concentrate too much on their careers and so don't take the initiative to date, while 75 percent of them complain that they don't have a large enough pool of potential partners," he said.

Xie Jing, 28, who came at the behest of her fretting mother, said that there were plenty of friends, former schoolmates, colleagues or clients that she could choose to date but it did not feel right.

"I just don't want to break the balance of these relationships, because I'm used to just being friends with the people I know," said the tall and graceful computer software marketing manager.

For decades during ideologically stricter times, people like Xie or Han married with little ceremony or fuss, often with the first person they met from a nearby village or from the factory where they worked.

"Under China's planned economy system, there used to be labor unions or women's federations under which companies or work units would take care of people's marriage," said Xia Xueluan, a sociologist at Beijing University.

"Labor unions of a textile company, for example, where almost all the workers were female, would organize a party with a steel company, where there were more men than women," Xia said, lamenting the bygone communist past.

But 25 years of reforms have shattered those conservative, stifling traditions and while Chinese today have unprecedented personal freedoms, the changes have brought complications to the sexual equation, especially for women.

Urban women often delay marriage and then become more anxious to find a partner as their biological clock begins to tick, said Tang Jihui, 25, a doctor.

"Women, especially professional women, are better educated today, and so they wait longer to get married," Tang said. "I think most women want to have families and that is why you see more women here."

Yet despite China's newfound openness, traditional social pressures that place immense importance on marriage and children remain hugely influential.

"My mom is more worried than I am, especially when she sees her friends' children get married," Xie said.

"I'm fine being single, except when I get another wedding invitation from a friend. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable," Xie said.
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