Students should be aware of problems in their romantic relationships and actively seek help when these problems trouble them, the compiler of a survey conducted recently by the Taipei Medical University (TMU) said.
According to the survey results, miscommunication or differing opinions took the top spot among problems plaguing romantic relationships between college-age males and females at 64.5 percent. Personality clashes, and differing views on daily life and monetary values came in second and third place respectively. Differing living habits and insecurity came in fourth and fifth place respectively.
Both men and women felt that responsibility, thoughtfulness and maturity were the defining aspects of what made for a good male partner, but had different ideas on what made for a good female partner.
While women thought that independence, thoughtfulness or understanding, and intelligence were the defining aspects of what made for a good female partner, men felt women should be gentle, understanding and kind.
More than 42 percent of respondents would consider the “cost-effectiveness” of a relationship before investing too much in the relationship. However, the survey also showed that 23 percent of students felt that “if you love me you should indulge me and change yourself to suit me,” while 71 percent of respondents were willing to change themselves to meet their partner’s expectations.
Nearly 30 percent of men and women were prone to call the other’s cellphone number incessantly if they couldn’t find them, the questionnaire showed.
The survey also showed that what caused the most pain in relationships for more than 50 percent of respondents was when they or their partners cheated, or if a third party suddenly appeared on the scene and fought for their partners.
However, despite that high figure, more than 15 percent of respondents said they had seen or had been a part of a love triangle.
According to the compiler of the questionnaire, TMU School of Public Health associate professor Lu Shu-yu (呂淑予), members of the younger generation were often very stubborn and at least 24 percent did not actively seek help when they found themselves going through a bad patch in their romantic affairs.
Seventy-seven percent of respondents preferred to talk about their romantic problems with friends or classmates, 12.3 percent talked about their troubles with their siblings, while 1 percent said they talked to their parents and another 1 percent said they did not need to talk to anyone. Teachers seemed to be among the last people students went to for counseling on relationships, with 1.1 percent of respondents saying they would talk to their teachers.
The survey also found that when relationships hit a rocky patch, those who were more prone to self-mutilation or becoming a danger to their partners were the ones who did not actively seek help, called their partners’ cellphones incessantly and believed that love never fades.
The TMU’s College of Public Health and Nutrition dean Chiou Hung-yi (邱弘毅) also said that students should not be headstrong or stubborn and should seek help when faced with a problem to avoid tragedies.
When in a relationship, a suitable interpersonal distance should be maintained to keep the relationship a novelty, while not being afraid to express one’s opinions and maturing together were also very important issues, Lu said.