Hsu Lien-chun (徐廉鈞) is a bridal photographer with an almost missionary zeal, as committed to ensuring the happy futures of his clients as he is to doing his job well.
After jeopardizing his marriage by having an affair, Hsu tries to promote happy marriages by urging the couples he photographs to receive pre-marital counseling.
“It’s important for couples, before tying the knot, to prepare for problems that are likely to arise in a marriage and make sure they can overcome them responsibly,” said the 38-year-old Hsu.
Hsu developed his novel approach five years ago when, while shooting bridal photos for a couple, he suddenly felt at a loss as to how to carry on with his job.
He tried chatting with the couple about how they met, their expectations for marriage and their opinions about life, and found that this helped him capture better images.
Now, before every shooting session, Hsu asks clients to fill out a form and provide information such as their most unforgettable experience, their most touching stories and their expectations for the photos.
The process is like having the clients conduct a truthful review of their lives.
Couples sometimes differ over their answers, he said, but he believes helping them discover their differences before getting married is helpful to enhancing their understanding of each other.
“It’s important for people to be honest with themselves before they can be serious about marriage,” he said.
Many marriage experts share Hsu’s views.
Jade Wu (吳維傑), founder of the Dorcas Family Ministry, a Christian civic organization that provides marriage counseling, said in a society in which many accept divorce as a solution to marriage problems, couples need to be reminded to deal with marriage realistically, especially before going to the altar.
“Marriages are very complicated. Chemistry alone is not enough to make them last,” Wu said.
She said miscommunication is the most common cause of marital conflict.
Hsu has observed that couples tend to become uneasy and sensitive immediately before getting married. Throughout his career as a bridal photographer, he has encountered many couples who fought over wedding details, leading some to call off their weddings.
This gave rise to his idea to promote pre-marriage education — a common Christian practice — among non-Christian couples to help them better prepare for married life.
He even offered a NT$10,000 discount on his rates to encourage clients to take part in the courses, in which couples are required to look at issues such as each other’s family background, expectations for marriage, financial plans and ways to deal with emotions.
The bid, however, was unsuccessful because most were frightened by the idea of attending such courses.
Hsu, however, is prepared to continue the effort after finding a way to package the program, and is planning to set up a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and reducing divorce, which he believes is often at the root of social problems.
There is also a plan to provide free financial planning courses for couples, as debt can help destroy marriages.
Many of Hsu’s ideas have been drawn from his own experience.
Entering the bridal photography business when he was 23, Hsu once owned two bridal shops. His business, however, collapsed when his second shop burned down.
Struggling to repay his debts, he worked as a photographer in various bridal shops, and it was during this time that he had an affair.
One day, he heard a sermon on marriage and infidelity at a church service that resonated deeply with him. He confessed to his wife and begged her for forgiveness.
Having gone through a marital crisis himself, Hsu believes that the recipe for a happy marriage is for couples to always remember the sensations and feeling of love they experienced when they first fell for each other.
And that is now one of the main pieces of advice he gives couples, hoping not only to help them preserve the memory of their wedding but also lay down the foundation for a happy future together.
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