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COMMUNITY COMPASS: SPECIAL COLUMN: Taking care of ourselves

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Many of us are natural caretakers in our roles as loyal friends, parents, teachers, counselors or community volunteers. In this fast-paced world it is not uncommon for us to over-commit and overwork. Unfortunately, in an effort to avoid selfishness, we too often ignore our own needs. As a result, we risk losing sight of the things that are most important — our peace of mind, our physical health and enjoying time with those we love. If we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves, we are in danger of not only burning out at work or school, but also of fracturing important friendships and romantic relationships.

Setting boundaries is a key component to protecting ourselves and ultimately ensuring we are able to give back to others. There is no need to be apologetic for setting limits with your time and energy. It is “OK to say no.” Give it a try — you may even find people envious of your ability to prioritize yourself.

Taking the time to conduct a personal inventory helps us better prepare ourselves to cope with stress. What physical, emotional or behavioral signs let us know that we are under pressure? Knowing our own response to stress is critical to being able to know when to take a “time out.” As we juggle multiple responsibilities in our daily lives, we can help ourselves by scheduling and prioritizing time just for us. This can be as simple as taking a bath, meeting a friend for tea, or finally getting to that yoga class.

A key component of self care and a concept that is part of many Eastern and Western traditions is mindfulness. Research has shown that mindfulness-based interventions have been effective in treating chronic pain, anxiety, depression and substance abuse problems, among others. Mindfulness instructs us to pay attention to each moment and to refrain from judging things as they “should be” and focus on how they really are. If we are not mindful then we miss out on the “here and now” and we risk spending our time worrying about the future or ruminating about the past.

The only “goal” of practicing mindfulness is mindfulness itself. The Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, may have put it best in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes to wash the dishes.”

When we are mindful we are observing, describing and participating in the moment without judging the experience. If we approach each task mindfully, we can stop operating on “automatic pilot” and be present in our daily lives.

A benefit of practicing mindfulness is the ability to more skillfully manage and regulate our emotions. Psychologist Marsha Linehan devised an easy mnemonic to remind us how to care for ourselves and reduce our emotional vulnerability to stressful situations. The PLEASE skills are as follows: (PL) — treat physical illness, go to the doctor when you are sick; (E) — eat a balanced diet; (A) — avoid mood altering drugs; (S) sleep — maintain a consistent sleep schedule; (E) — exercise.

The PLEASE skills are a helpful guideline for self-reflection to remind us to take care of ourselves during times of stress. Through mindfulness, the PLEASE skills and setting limits, we can skillfully cope with modern day demands. Approaching self care mindfully is essential to promote an overall sense of well being and to manage inevitable life stressors. The bonus is that if we are able to truly take care of ourselves and we are better equipped to reach out and care for those we love.



Suggested reading on self care and mindfulness — all available on amazon.com or the Community Services Center library:



► Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap — Strategies for Handling Your Fast-Paced Life by Edward M. Hallowell

► Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn

► The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

► The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being by Daniel Siegel





Cynthia Teeters is a counselor at the Community Services Center and works with adults, teens and couples. She continues to work on self-care strategies and her personal mindfulness practice.

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