From a galaxy far, far away, the Russian Darth Vader lands in Asia, filled with suspicion and hate. He leaves convinced that Asia's "motives are good" and that it may hold the force to reshape the world.
The skit at a gala dinner by the Russian delegation, with Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov dressed as Star Wars villain Darth Vader, was yesterday the talk of a security conference hosted by ASEAN.
Other performances late on Thursday by foreign ministers, part of an annual ASEAN tradition, included Australia's Alexander Downer singing an Elvis Presley number.
"It's now or never," Downer crooned, "let's consummate, fulfil the promise, a summit date," he sang to whistles and laughter.
Downer this week committed Australia to ASEAN's Treaty of Amity and Cooperation (TAC), reversing an earlier stance and securing a place at a summit that could lead to the creation of a new East Asian community.
"Only yesterday TAC did not rate, and just in time, I've changed my mind ... it's great," he sang, his delegation twirling blue feather boas behind him.
Canadian Foreign Minister Pierre Pettigrew wore dark sunglasses to lead a black-suited "rat-pack" that teased the Australians.
"Australia wants in ... their way of saying they're not really Yanks," he sang. "Take down tariffs and open up trade ... in ASEAN style, it could be delayed, but so what?"
US Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick was the stereotypical cowboy, singing the Wild West tune Oh My Darling, Clementine. His delegation stood stiffly by in cowboy costumes.
But all paled in comparison to the Russian skit, delegates said.
Wearing a dark brown cape and hood -- Darth Vader's heavy breathing was difficult to create in the low-budget production -- Lavrov brandished a lighted sword as he and his assistant argued about Asia to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar.
"ASEAN, Superstar" they sang. "Do you think you're what they say you are? ASEAN, ASEAN! Why we accept whatever you have done?"
The skit was peppered with one-liners by Lavrov, who asked why Australia was present and got the reply: "Probably the kangaroos like Asian grass."
Behind him a Powerpoint display showed a world map with most countries, including the US, labeled as East Asia.
Darth Vader left singing with the crowd: "ASEAN, Superstar. You are the best friend of Russia."
The skits are a regular feature of a gala dinner for the ASEAN foreign ministers and the major powers with which they hold a dialogue.
Yesterday, the foreign ministers launched a Web site for sharing intelligence information on terrorism and were also expected to discuss the dialogue on North Korea's nuclear program, officials said.
also see story:
Asian security put at risk by Taiwan's exclusion from ASEAN forum: analysts
Six-party talks to go on as long as necessary: US
The government is aiming to recruit 1,096 foreign English teachers and teaching assistants this year, the Ministry of Education said yesterday. The foreign teachers would work closely with elementary and junior-high instructors to create and teach courses, ministry official Tsai Yi-ching (蔡宜靜) said. Together, they would create an immersive language environment, helping to motivate students while enhancing the skills of local teachers, she said. The ministry has since 2021 been recruiting foreign teachers through the Taiwan Foreign English Teacher Program, which offers placement, salary, housing and other benefits to eligible foreign teachers. Two centers serving northern and southern Taiwan assist in recruiting and training
WIDE NET: Health officials said they are considering all possibilities, such as bongkrekic acid, while the city mayor said they have not ruled out the possibility of a malicious act of poisoning Two people who dined at a restaurant in Taipei’s Far Eastern Department Store Xinyi A13 last week have died, while four are in intensive care, the Taipei Department of Health said yesterday. All of the outlets of Malaysian vegetarian restaurant franchise Polam Kopitiam have been ordered to close pending an investigation after 11 people became ill due to suspected food poisoning, city officials told a news conference in Taipei. The first fatality, a 39-year-old man who ate at the restaurant on Friday last week, died of kidney failure two days later at the city’s Mackay Memorial Hospital. A 66-year-old man who dined
‘CARRIER KILLERS’: The Tuo Chiang-class corvettes’ stealth capability means they have a radar cross-section as small as the size of a fishing boat, an analyst said President Tsai Ing-wen (蔡英文) yesterday presided over a ceremony at Yilan County’s Suao Harbor (蘇澳港), where the navy took delivery of two indigenous Tuo Chiang-class corvettes. The corvettes, An Chiang (安江) and Wan Chiang (萬江), along with the introduction of the coast guard’s third and fourth 4,000-tonne cutters earlier this month, are a testament to Taiwan’s shipbuilding capability and signify the nation’s resolve to defend democracy and freedom, Tsai said. The vessels are also the last two of six Tuo Chiang-class corvettes ordered from Lungteh Shipbuilding Co (龍德造船) by the navy, Tsai said. The first Tuo Chiang-class vessel delivered was Ta Chiang (塔江)
EYE ON STRAIT: The US spending bill ‘doubles security cooperation funding for Taiwan,’ while also seeking to counter the influence of China US President Joe Biden on Saturday signed into law a US$1.2 trillion spending package that includes US$300 million in foreign military financing to Taiwan, as well as funding for Taipei-Washington cooperative projects. The US Congress early on Saturday overwhelmingly passed the Further Consolidated Appropriations Act 2024 to avoid a partial shutdown and fund the government through September for a fiscal year that began six months ago. Under the package, the Defense Appropriations Act would provide a US$27 billion increase from the previous fiscal year to fund “critical national defense efforts, including countering the PRC [People’s Republic of China],” according to a summary