Each new month seems to bring with it a new sex scandal. Just when we were tiring of the seemingly endless list of women who claim to have had an affair with Tiger Woods, the Iris Robinson story broke. And even before the tutting at 60-year-old Robinson’s affair with a 19-year-old had fallen silent, footballer John Terry relieved Robinson of her headlines by failing to secure an injunction to prevent details of his alleged affair becoming public. With the blogosphere now awash with details of Terry’s alleged affair with Vanessa Perroncel and other tittle-tattle about his personal life, Terry seems destined to remain in the public eye until the next celebrity falls from grace.
There is, of course, much to disapprove of in these sorry tales. Woods, Robinson and Terry are all married with children. Their betrayals will undoubtedly have caused their families a great deal of pain, and this can only have been heightened by the way that the details have been trawled over in public. All three had fostered a public image as upholders of family values: Only days before his alleged infidelity became public Woods was telling interviewers that he “always” put his family first; Robinson, the wife of Northern Ireland’s first minister, was a born-again Christian member of parliament, and a staunch supporter of conservative “family values”; Terry was voted “dad of the year” a mere six months ago. To make matters worse, all three had much to lose financially from their public image being shattered: Woods lost sponsorship deals worth millions of US dollars and has now taken a career break; Robinson has been forced to stand down as a member of parliament; Terry was dropped as England captain on Friday and his corporate sponsors are no doubt watching the story unfold with some concern.
Our cultural obsession with such salacious stories in fact says a great deal more about our confusions around sex and relationships than it does about an errant footballer and his partners. While there has been intense debate about Terry’s suitability as captain of the England team, another more important question rarely gets aired at all: Why is it that sexual amorality sends people in the public eye off a cliff when so many other aspects of their importance as role models barely draws comment? (I have never understood, for instance, why footballers are allowed to argue with the referee like six-year-old children when the FA could easily introduce a ruling that such behavior provokes an immediate red card, thereby setting an example to millions of young boys. The rules are the rules. Get over it.)
We gorge on the tacky private lives of public figures as if they are the only ones to have ever made a stupid decision in pursuit of desire. They should set better standards, we cry, when in our heart of hearts we surely know they are flawed human beings like the rest of us. An unrepeatable rude song is being feverishly circulated on the Web — “Chelsea, Chelsea wherever you may be, Don’t leave your wife with John Terry ...” — but how many of those singing it would have affairs if they thought they could get away with it?
We are living in liberal times; we are more tolerant of homosexuality, divorce and illegitimacy than ever before. Yet talking about sex even inside a good relationship is still difficult for many people. Meanwhile, fidelity has acquired a new importance. A Gallup poll in 2006 found that Americans were more tolerant of polygamy and human cloning than infidelity.
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