Thus pumped and psyched, I find myself somewhat at odds with the tranquil atmosphere of Maximo Gomez Park, where elderly chums chomp on cigars and play interminable games of dominos and chess. If you fancy a picnic (South Beach is only a 15 minute drive), you could pick it up from over at Miami's oldest farmers' market, Los Pinarenos (1334 SW 8th Street). They'll make you an excellent syrup-sweet coffee (served in 20ml hospital plastic cups) while you stock up on avocados the size of SUVs, homemade tamales con salsa and juicy fresh fruits. The best version of Oye Como Va I've ever heard is pumping out, causing a Stetson-wearing septuagenarian calling himself "El Pinareno" to demonstrate some fabulous hip-swinging salsa moves. He boasts of only three heart attacks.
Across the road, El Nuevo Siglo Supermarket (1305 SW 8th Street) is loaded with all things Hispanic, and has a sit-down counter for fresh-cooked, calorie-laden meals, and marvelous whole chickens cooked on a rotisserie - in case you're feeling peckish.
No ramble in Little Havana is complete without a visit to El Rey De Las Fritas (1821 SW 8th Street; other branches at Hialeah, Kendall Street, and SW 40th Street). A frita is a Cuban hamburger, the bun soft, the meat a sort of sausage patty, under an avalanche of deep-fried shoestring potatoes and onions. At only US$2.75 a throw I'm told they're the Latino Big Mac. Actually, fritas are to the golden arches what Cohibas are to Embassy panatelas. I loved mine with a batido - a milky, ice-slushy fresh fruit smoothie. I chose mango. Plus another frita and a bite of rich porky tamale. Each branch of El Rey is beautifully clean and full of interesting punters: haves and hobos, young, old, rich, poor, stylish and scruffy: American democracy in action. Unlike my digestive system. Anyway, I get chatting with a musician wearing a complicated beard and matching bling who recommends Hoy Como Ayer (2212 SW 8th Street, hoycomoayer.net). "Go Thursday nights, hombre," he says. "Mojitos to knock you sideways, and music to match. It's the best Latin music club in Miami - meaning, it's the best in all the Americas!"
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