In Carved in Sand, an enlightening and rather reassuring new book on fading memory in midlife, author Cathryn Jakobson Ramin speaks of "'blocking' (or 'blanking') when names will not come to mind and words dart in and out of consciousness." Ramin, like me, has often been stopped cold in the midst of writing when unable to think of what she knows is the perfect word.
Her research found that "word-retrieval failures occur not because of the loss of relevant memories, but because irrelevant ones are activated."
Daniel Schacter, a psychologist and memory expert at Harvard and the author of The Seven Sins of Memory, notes that the concept of blocking exists in 51 languages and that 45 of them have a specific name for it. In English, it's called "tip of the tongue," lapses that become increasingly common and challenging from midlife onward.
"People can produce virtually everything they know about a person or everything they know about a word, except its label," Schacter wrote. My friends and I often find ourselves talking about "you know who" and "thingamajigs."
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Mnemonics can be useful, if you can remember them and what they stand for. When my seven-year-old grandson told me to "Never Eat Shredded Wheat," which he knows I like, he laughed and said it helped him remember "north, east, south and west." To remember what I have to do or buy when I can't write it down, I try to concoct an unforgettable mnemonic like "Babies Are Little Children" for bananas, apples, lettuce and cereal.
Whenever possible, I associate a new name with a tangible object: "Cucumber" for Kirby, the lifeguard at the Y; "ravioli" for Ralph, who sits at the desk; and "sherry" for Sherry, the locker room attendant.
For fellow Y members, after learning a name, I use it every chance I get: "Hi, Jeanette," "So long, Sue, have a nice day," "Cynthia, you're early today," and "Aviva, how's your new job?"
And I continue to say their names aloud even after I think that they are etched in stone in my memory.
At a dinner where I'm to be seated with a table of strangers, I check the list of others at the table in advance to help me remember their names when we are introduced. And for groups that meet infrequently, I campaign for name tags. No one should have to remember the names of people she sees once or twice a year.
Though I have long worked in a state of organized chaos (I know where everything is, as long as no one moves it), I needed a better system as I advanced in years. Now, every potentially important piece of paper must go in a labeled file (even if that file has only one thing in it), and the files stored alphabetically in a labeled drawer or box, lest they never be found again.
Also, I resist all urges to reorganize my files - or my clothes, shoes, groceries or tools - because I seem to remember only the first place I put something. Move it to a new location, and it is lost until and unless I stumble upon it accidentally.
Finally, to remember when things must be done like move the car, pick up the grandchildren and turn off the oven, I invested heavily in good kitchen timers and scattered them about the house. The best I have found is made by West Bend. The model number is 40005X, and it runs for a very long time on one AAA battery.
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