BMW's new Z4 is pathetically macho and boorish

By Martin Love
THE GUARDIAN, LONDON
Thursday, Mar 29, 2007, Page 13

BMW Z4 Roadster 3.2 M Price: US$83,000 in the UK Top speed: 250kph Seats: Two Good for: Bypasses Bad for: Heart attack PHOTO COURTESY OF BMW

Like oysters and brutalist architecture, there is something beautifully ugly about BMW's new two-seat sportscar. The Z4's vast bonnet is swollen with weird protruberances and growths. It's creased on virtually every panel, as if some origami expert has been let loose on the master plan, and then partially ironed it flat again. With its wrinkles, jowly front valence and downward sloping headlamps, it's the motoring equivalent of a Shar-Pei. And, like that aesthetically challenged hound, the Z4's stand-out ugliness causes a first gasp of horror, followed by the slow-burn of pleasure as the hideous brute finds a warm spot in your heart. As the French say, it is jolie laid.

The design trail that's been blazed by Chris Bangle at BMW over the past years has taken the ultra-reliable car, made with speed-crazed wage slaves in mind, into controversial waters. BMW is no longer the first resort for those wanting understated anonymity. Drive one now and people look at you. The German carmaker has brought out nine new models in the past three years and all of them are an acquired taste. None more so than the Z4.

When BMW brought out the car's predecessor, the Z3, it was regularly flagged up as being "feminine." And don't think for a minute that reviewers were using that adjective in a positive sense. With the Z4, BMW seems to have been determined to make as masculine a car as possible. From the four exhaust pipes at the back to the extra-wide tires and the thick, rubbery steering wheel, the Z4 is as male as a badger-hair shaving brush. My wife drove the test car and pronounced it “boorish” and “pathetically macho.” Words that led me to expect the best. And the Z4 did not disappoint. Raw yet refined, powerful yet controlled, it's one of the most exhilarating drives I've had.

There will be a limited amount of models for sale and almost all will be bought by men who are married and aged between 35 and 45. They will also all be driving enthusiasts. But you don't have to be a car expert to work that out. Just look at it. It's all about the engine. The bonnet takes up half the length of the car — the driver and passenger crouching behind it. Under that swollen hood you'll find one of five engine choices. Starting with a basic 2-liter four-cylinder petrol that boasts a very sporting 13km to the liter, to a 3.2-liter multi-award winning power plant from BMW's M division that takes the 1,500kg car from 0 to 100km in five seconds. Quick enough to make you prickle with nervous sweat between speed bumps.

It was this flagship M Roadster that I was lucky enough to drive — US$83,000 worth of lipstick-red hedonism. And yet it's a BMW — the epitome of respectability and reliability.

On the last Sunday of my test week, my 10-year-old son and I headed out of town early for a rugby match. We dialed up the heated seats, opened the roof, turned up the stereo and hit the winding wintry roads of the countryside in Kent leading to the south coast. Boorish, pathetically macho... and all the more brilliant for it.