"We stay sane by counting our money."
This is Pete Townshend, cheeky Who rapscallion, always in your face, often in your wallet.
"I was trained to see the show business future. If I told you what was going to happen, you wouldn't be able to process it."
This is Pete Townshend, one part rock 'n' roll visionary, two parts mad as a bleepin' hatter.
"Young musicians often complain to me that I didn't leave many new ways of standing with a guitar for them to discover for themselves … . Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley and Elvis took one position each and left the remaining five thousand to me."
And yes, this is Pete Townshend e-mailing with an arrogance rarely heard since John Lennon compared the Fab Four to the Son of God.
Along with the Stones and the Beatles, the Who helmed the British Invasion, which led to punk and garage rock and pretty much whatever you heard on your radio this morning. And no one is more aware of this legacy than Townshend, who recently granted the most curious of interviews.
The Who has been the Who since 1964, many things to many people. So with Roger Daltrey howling beside him, Townshend, 61, will strike poses that inspire air guitarists everywhere. He'll play for rock dinosaurs hoping he'll smash his Fender in a million pieces. He'll appease the art-rock weirdos who've memorized Tommy, whispering along with Pinball Wizard as if it were a mantra. He'll even cater to the fresh-faced fans who know the Who mainly as that band from the CSI shows.
Possibly because his hearing is shot from standing next to speakers most of his life or possibly because he thinks "all journalists are parasites" Townshend would agree only to an e-mail interview. But his answers revealed a man who has tried on so many faces, so many personalities: rock star, tech head, tabloid fodder, weary veteran.
Should you be skeptical about the current Who world tour? Sure. The former quartet is now a duo; drummer Keith Moon drank himself to death in 1978, and bassist John Entwistle died from a drug-related heart attack in 2002. Plus, the band's concept disc Endless Wire last year, which is featured in the current tour, drew mixed reviews.
But if Townshend's e-mail is any indication, the man who once hoped to die before he got old can still rage and rebel, amuse and inspire. There's no one else like him. This is Pete Townshend.
"We were there at the beginning. We enjoyed a period of great discovery of several American music traditions that because of our uniquely objective viewpoint from faraway Europe we were able to bring together. This gave us a unique place in pop history."
Over the course of seven questions and four pages, Townshend wrote about the Who's genesis, the band's legacy and his love of TV composer Mike Post (the Hill Street Blues theme especially). He joked about comedian Mike Myers' upcoming Keith Moon biopic ("Mike will be good. I'll give advice to whoever plays me. Get it right, make me look good, or I'll cut your (bleepin' bleeps) off"). Townshend, who has suffered from tinnitus for decades, also took time to mourn a generation of volume-blaring iPod users ("Pray for (ear drum) implants. It never worked for hair, so don't raise your hopes too high").
But Pete Townshend's favorite topic seemed to be Pete Townshend. He rambled; he reeled off one-liners like Rickles. When asked how he would help an imploding music industry, Townshend replied: "Why should I help these people? I predicted downloading back in 1985. No one took any notice. I predicted the Internet back in 1971. I have been called pretentious for doing so by anyone who wants to make themselves feel big by taking a pop at a 'genius.'"
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