Watching the designer Randolph Duke as a commentator for ABC describing what a wonderful impact dressing an Oscar-nominated actress for the red carpet has on a designer's career, it was hard not to wonder how he ended up so far on the wrong side of the velvet rope, speaking from a perch so distant it had to be called the Fashion Skyway.
You could imagine Sally Kirkland running him over in the skyway's HOV lane with her loopy butterfly getup — she called it "a rabbi and a reverend" — that she claimed was made by her cabala teacher.
If this is what designers have to look forward to, it may be the year to re-evaluate whether their rumored deals to dress actresses are really worth all that money, what with Giorgio Armani, who put on an extravagant fashion show in Beverly Hills the night before, among the celebrities making the rounds on the red carpet this year.
Like a good number of the Oscars that were considered locked up weeks before the event, the generally frumpy, overly beaded fashion picks offered such a diminishing return of suspense or variety that the event could have been mistaken for a repeat.
Penelope Cruz made her entrance in a pale pink bustier gown by Versace with a full skirt of tiered ruffles dragging behind her that was almost a duplicate of the pale blue Dior dress Charlize Theron wore two years ago.
Then Nicole Kidman turned up in a red halter dress tied up with a gift-wrapping bow at the neck so enormous that one could not help but think of Theron's big-bow Dior dress from last year. Theron, annually drubbed by the fashion police, should be entitled to some retroactive style points for instigating a theme of holiday dressing. And the knockoff artists will be thrilled, as Duke pointed out.
There was also a clear trend of gaudy jewelry built into the dresses, beginning with Jennifer Lopez, caged in five chains of metallic rhinestones on top of her ruched empire-waist Marchesa gown, and followed by Rachel Weisz in a gold Vera Wang dress. As if the crystal bow at its bodice and the crystal tiers sewn into the hem of its train were not sparkling enough, Weisz added what looked like a Christmas ornament from Cartier around her neck.
"I don't know where to look," Duke cried.
Cate Blanchett, duly ornamented, was among the nominees who attended Armani's fashion show on Saturday, when she indicated she would wear a dress by the designer to the awards, as she did. She wore a silver one-shoulder mesh gown, overlaid with a veil of flowers made of jet black paillettes; her hair up, she was basically the picture of prepackaged elegance, though she said she is not an actress who concerns herself with the opinions of fashion critics.
“I think the fashion has probably gotten a lot safer,” Blanchett said. “But if you are dressing to impress other people, then I think you're going to get in trouble.”
What else could explain the endless chain of strapless dresses this awards season in Hollywood that have made actresses, once they are all seated, look practically naked? I would concede that Jada Pinkett Smith in a gold Carolina Herrera strapless dress looked sublime, and Reese Witherspoon's layered black dress by Olivier Theyskens of Nina Ricci should sufficiently broadcast the designer's name to the far reaches of the planet before he has even had his first fashion show for the French house. (Until last season Theyskens was the designer of Rochas.)
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