In 1991, Michael met and fell in love with Brazilian Anselmo Feleppa. Shortly after they got together, Feleppa discovered he had AIDS. Michael spent the next four years nursing his boyfriend to his death.
Michael went into a depressive spiral. Perhaps it was inevitable, he says -- genetics. There was a terrible history of depression in the family.
"My poor old mum, she found both her father and her brother ... both stuck their head in gas ovens," he said.
He was told that his uncle killed himself the day Michael was born -- the subject of the song My Mother Had a Brother on his last album, Patience.
He went on a diet of Prozac and cannabis. The Prozac made his head even worse, he says.
"At first you're flying about, snapping at people one minute, really happy the next, and I made some disastrous business decisions," he said.
After a year he quit the Prozac and upped his intake of cannabis. At one point, he was smoking 25 joints a day, mostly potent skunk, and when he wasn't spliffing he was chainsmoking cigarettes. Today, he has cut down hugely, but when he occasionally loses his thread or forgets a question, he blames the cannabis.
At least his ability to write has not deserted him, he says with confidence. But the next second he admits that is his greatest fear, and there have been sustained periods when he couldn't write a thing.
In 1998, he was found masturbating in a public convenience by the Los Angeles police. Of all the terrible things he mentions that have happened, this is not one of them. He controlled the situation brilliantly, using it to come out with humor, astonishing dignity considering the circumstances and a massive hit record and video, Outside, that recreated the incident. It relaunched his stalling career. He has said so many times that it turned out to be a blessing.
Does he still go cruising?
"No. It's one thing to get caught cruising and make a joke of it and turn it around, it's another thing to get caught again and look stupid, isn't it? And anyway it's not any fun any more because I outed myself. That was the whole point," he said.
Why didn't he come out earlier? Initially, he says, he was going to come out when he was 19, but didn't because he was still unsure of his sexuality and was advised not to.
"I didn't actually realize I was till I was about 24," he said.
Then, he didn't do it because he knew his mum would be terrified that he'd contract AIDS. Finally, he says, by the time he was happy to, he despised the press so much that he wouldn't give them what they wanted.
"By the time I actually outed myself I had tried every way to let people know that I was OK with being gay, even the fuckin' handlebar moustache for a little bit," he said.
Having come out, he didn't conform to the polite, desexualized notion of gay. He told the media that he was living with his boyfriend Kenny Goss but they enjoyed an open relationship and he had a voracious sexual appetite.
Is he really that dirty?
"No. I'm just very regular. Haha! I feel I should have extreme tastes but I don't. I'm very much what gay people call vanilla, but I am filthy in that I want it a lot!" he said.
And, for the first time in years, he feels as if he's truly out of the woods. It's his current optimism, he says, that allows him to be so open about his past despair. He and Kenny are going to sign up to a civil partnership. He is writing songs once again, planning to tour, and looking forward to the future.
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